


Red and Orange Embers

by sunscreams



Category: Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins
Genre: F/M, In The Process of Editing, It's Almost Better, Romance, Sorry I Made Katniss Sassy, Travel, What I Think Happened Before The Epilogue, i'm honestly so sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-28
Updated: 2013-08-28
Packaged: 2017-12-24 22:47:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 34,790
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/945571
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunscreams/pseuds/sunscreams
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Katniss knows, logically that she can't just sit around forever. She has a working human body. She'll have to use the toilet eventually, but seeing as how this is not currently a pressing matter, she don't see the appeal of moving any of her muscles.</p><p>Or, the obligatory fill-in-the-blanks-before-the-epilogue fic.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own anything.
> 
> Edit: I fixed it. Now it's slightly better. I'm sorry.

I press my face deeper into the cushions of the couch I'm laying on, watching the glowing red and orange remains of a blackened log in the fireplace. I'm reminded then, of my costume made for me during the Quell. Almost instantly, Cinna's handsome, smiling, face flashes briefly through my mind. And for that split second, my heart warms at his memory. But the vision of Cinna in my mind crumples and bleeds, a pained, beaten expression on his face. His lips move, but I can't hear him. Somehow I don't need to. _You failed me_ , his eyes seem to say. _You failed all of us_ , his slumped form seems to scream.

I clench my eyes shut, moving my head to look at the back of the couch. 

I know, logically, that I can't just sit here forever; I have a working human body. I'll have to use the toilet eventually, and Sae usually comes by once or twice a day to force me to eat in the nicest way possible. And I know it hurts her to see me like this, but I just can't bring myself to get up. My whole body feels like it weighs 3 million pounds and my eyes can't stay focused for longer than a few minutes and the things I see when I close my eyes burn my heart in a way I never thought a heart could burn. I'm coasting and I know it, but I just can't stop.

 

So, I stare into the dying embers, wishing, in an idealistic way, that everything was back to the way things were before. When the law was strict, but the Peacekeepers were loose. When I was just some Seam kid with dirt caked under my nails from hunting, not from lack of hygiene. When the only blood on my hands was that of my next meal. My life back then was in no way easy, and it sure as hell wasn't good, but it was normal. I'd never seen the horrors that make men shells. I had a loyal best friend. I didn't know what it was like to be choked within an inch of my life by the one I love. I'd never watched as my sister exploded. I wasn't happy before, I know that, but I also wan't broken like this. And that—the not being broken part—is what I would give anything to have back.

My entire existence feels more like an old room covered in coal dust than the hero's tale everyone likes to believe it is. This shitty feeling makes my food taste bland and the days seem worthless. Sometimes, I waste entire days trying everything I can, not to scream at nothing. And other times, it takes all of my energy just to mutter a whisper of thanks to Sae. She does so much for me and all I do in return is sit here like a fucking vegetable all day long, just like my mother did. I'm a hypocrite, because I'm trying to justify it. Like, how I don't have two kids I should be supporting. How I don't have a daughter begging me everyday to move or to do something. How I don't have a business I let dry up. How I don't really have anything. And that's no excuse and I damn well know it, but here I am.

Like mother like daughter: that's what they say. 

The door opens, breaking me out of my revere, and I'm not too surprised to see Greasy Sae with a large pot saddled on her hip, sending steam into the cool morning air. Bright yellow light streams into my home in the Victors Village, revealing the floating dust mites as they drift through the air aimlessly, like me. She's got a slight frown on her face—like everyone does now— as she closes the door snugly behind her. The room is then bathed back in the soft grey that has filled my life thus far. 

"You know, Katniss, I could really use some fresh meat," she comments in that passive aggressive way she does sometimes. I just hum in response, and she continues, unperturbed, "I'm sure Peeta would like some too." He's been here for 2 weeks since he planted the Primroses outside and I still can't bring myself to talk to him.

I look at her with her grey seam eyes and her always-frowning face, and say, "Don't bring him into this," my voice is dry, but everything about me lately has been.

Sae sighs, "I know I ain't got no business meddlin' in the affairs of you two, but you really should-"

"Sae, stop," I look at the floor. My head hurts, "I'm too tired to deal with him right now," my heart hurts, "Please, just don't." Sae nods her head and mutters something incoherent under her breath and I can't find it in myself to care what it was she was mumbling about. 

With a sigh and lecture I pretended to listen to, Sae leaves a few hours later, pleased with the stew she's left in the fridge. I curl up on the sofa in the formal living room and cover myself with a knitted blanket I'm sure my mother made sometime in the past. A bitter knot of guilt takes up residence in my throat and I make the executive decision to ignore it.

* * *

I'm standing alone on a barren stretch of earth. The sky is grey and the ground is a slightly different shade of grey and when I look at my arms and my legs, they too, are shades of grey.

A slow grey fog rolls distantly on the horizon, not unlike the poisonous fog from the Quell. Its shaded-grey finger-like tendrils reach for me, but never get closer. In the distance dark grey silhouettes start to materialize out of the fog. Not a sound is made. Not a footstep or breath or voice can be heard. They're silent and slink along the ground, never lifting their feet. Slowly, like the start up of one of the old coal mining machines, they finally start to make noise. They moan and shriek, their shrill voices ringing through the air. I don't know which I prefer more; the eerie silence or the deafening cries of a distant horde.

I try to pick up my feet to run—since that seems to be the only thing I'm good at lately—but my legs won't move. "Help!" I call out to the grey world, receiving no answer from the void. I fist my hands in the thin fabric of my trousers and pull, hoping to prompt my legs into action, but when I look down, they're gone. My legs are cut off at the knees, just like Boggs. 

In a panic, I look to the silhouettes as they approach. Their voices are louder now, insistent like the prodding of a needle in your arm. I call for help, looking to the grey-shaded faces of the silhouettes before me. Slowly, like a bad horror film, their features come into focus. Prim and Rue are the first I recognize; they'll always be the first I recognize. Prim, my innocent, little Prim, is holding a match and Rue, sweet as sugar, tough as nails, Rue is holding a spear. Next I recognize, Finnick, a grotesque mutt held a bay by a thin collar. Then Cinna with spiked gloves, his fists raised, ready to fight back. Thousands of other people materialize in seconds. Some I don't recognize hold guns and some, like Prim, hold matches. A select few hold arrows. My heart drops deep into my stomach when I see Peeta amongst the crowd. He has a syringe filled with light grey, almost white liquid.

The crowd of the unrightfully dead and injured stops about a meter away from me, falling back into that heavy silence from before. I stare into Peeta's eyes, who stands directly in front of me. The beautiful blue of his eyes, now gone, sapped grey like the bleak world around us. He steps forward, face-to-face with me. I want to lean forward into his arms and into his heart. I want to feel his arms wrap around me, hold me tight. I want his fingers to card through my hair and tell me I'm safe. I want him to kiss my forehead and my eyelids, and my cheeks, and my nose, then my mouth, feather light and oh, so, special. I want to rest my cheek against his, to feel the soft skin of his face, the slight stubble tickling me. I want to twine our fingers together and kiss every finger where they touch. I want him. My heart aches for _him_.

But before I can even blink, he lifts the syringe like a dagger and plunges it into the side of my neck, pushing down on the plunger, forcing the grey-almost white venom into my neck.

I scream and cry, tears slipping down my face, my agony filling the void. My heart breaks, and my neck screams. Peeta pulls out the syringe then drops it uselessly onto the ground. He steps back into the circle. He says nothing and never breaks eye contact with me. And, for the life of me, neither do I.

With a flick of hundreds of matches lighting, a bloom of yellow, orange, red burns its way into the bleak world around me. I search the crowd, feeling the obligation to look at the culprits. My eyes land on Prim's and again, I can't move. My neck burns from where Peeta stabbed me, but I can't see or focus on anything, but her. She steps up first, her match held daintily between her fingers, the glowing red, yellow, orange of the flame dancing innocently atop the small wooden stick.

She smiles at me, that carefree, childish tilt of her lips that she always used when she wanted to be extra charming. I notice the shirt she's wearing is light pink, the collar is white lace. It's something we never could have afforded before the Games. Her eyes are brilliant blue, her teeth pearly white, her hair pure gold. She's precious and beautiful, like a china doll. Her cheeks are flashed with life and I cry out, a sob ripping from my chest. She's so beautiful and _alive_. I want to hug her to my chest, have her know that I will never let her go again. I will keep her safe this time, no matter what. That in the end, she will be the one to survive. 

I blink and her beauty is gone. Her porcelain skin, replaced with charred skin—still burning, glowing like an ember in the bottom of a fireplace—and raw. Her beautiful button nose, now gone, revealing blackened bone underneath. Her hair spun from gold is now blackened and burnt. Her clothes are in tatters, burned and dirty. Her lips have been burned off, revealing her teeth, permanent in a sick smile. Her eyes, oh god, her eyes. One is milky white, blinded and the other is black with pooled blood. She looks like a sick monster of the Capitol. But I know it wasn't them who did this. No, it was me.

I cry out, a sob ripping its way from my chest, my hand, flying to my mouth in abject horror. Prim, the monstrous thing that stands before me, cocks her head to the side, a mass of blackened hair falls ungracefully off her shoulder. She raises a blackened, smouldering, bleeding red arm, and flicks the lit match held between her burning fingers at me. 

It sears my cheek in a stripe of white hot pain. Again, my eyes water and tears pour down my cheeks. Sobs wrack my body. Prim, oh, dear innocent Prim. What have you done? As if a director had given a cue, hundreds of small red, orange, yellow flickering lights soar towards me, arching in the air before all making contact with my skin at the same time. Millions of burning pinpricks spark across my nervous system. I scream, my throat going dry. I try to launch myself away, but I can't, I can't, I can't.

And I deserve it.

* * *

I wake with a start, falling off the couch and onto the floor face first. Hard. I roll over with a groan and rub my face with the back of my hand. I'm covered in cooling sweat and tear tracks mark my face like latitude lines on a map. I stretch my arms above my head, popping my back in multiple places. I rub the crust out of my eyes and try my best to wipe the tear tracks off my face. With a sigh, I get up to look out the window; Sae should be here any minute. I decide to clean up the living room. Folding the blanket and setting it on the end of the couch, I finish in record time.

The door opens, quietly as usual—Sae says she does this because she doesn't want to wake me—and Sae walks in, her lovely pot of stew on her hip, the morning sun fingering in behind her. Except this morning more than just sunlight is pouring in behind her. This morning, Peeta follows in. Great. Just great. 

"Morning, Katinss," Peeta says with his stupid sunny smile that makes my cheeks warm and my heart flutter. If he continues to smile like that, I'll forget I destroyed his life.

"Morning," I mumble out, grumpy, as usual.

"How'd you sleep?" he asks in the same way.

I contemplate ignoring him. But then Greasy Sae would give me _that_ look, and then after he left, she'd go on and on and on about how I need to take care of myself and how I need to let people in. So, I answer him, "Horrible," I shrug and yawn, "You?"

"Same as always," he copies me with a shrug, "Nightmares?"

"Yeah," I look down at my hands. Wow. This is really awkward. Not just because I suck at human interaction and not because he could lash out and attack me at any moment, or because I've done some pretty shitty things in the past, too, but because we're teenagers who've literally been through hell and are now left with navigating the emotional land mine that is social interaction.

Man, this is weird. I sit down and motion for Peeta to join me, "So...what have you been up to?"

He shrugs one shoulder, ever calm, cool and collected, "I've been delivering bread to people while my bakery goes up. I still paint a little and I help with the rebuilding." He looks at his hands he's fumbling with in his lap. He looks up, "What've you been up too?"

"Nothing," I sigh and snort out a laugh, "I mean, I go hunting sometimes," I can't help but defend. I curse myself for still caring what he thinks. I let the air grow stale between us. 

"How is the rebuilding going anyway?" Greasy Sae brings us both bowls of warm stew, effectively breaking the tension. We both mutter a small thank you to her.

"It's going great," Peeta nods his head as he blows on a spoonful of stew, "People are coming back, which is good because we need the man power."

"That's what I been hearin'. I feel bad stayin' up on this damned hill all day, cookin' while there's work that needs tendin', but we all have our spots I s'ppose," Sae comments with a small smile and, wow, now I feel like an asshat.

Peeta nods, "That's true." He spoons a mouthful of stew into his mouth and for the time it takes him to do that and swallow, the room is silent. "If I'm being completely honest though, I'm too weak to be much help down there right now, anyway," he rubs the back of his neck and looks away.

"You're an idiot," I say, suddenly, "I don't know if you've noticed, but you're really strong."

The two of them nearly choke on the stew they're eating. "Thank you, Katniss, but that's not what I meant," Peeta wipes his face, not meeting my eyes.

I shrug and take another spoonful of stew, not getting what he's saying, "Whatever." 

We we eat in silence, until our spoons scrape the bottoms of our empty bowls. I think this might be the first time I've eaten the whole bowl because I wanted to instead because I didn't want to disappoint Sae. "I left some more in the fridge, Katniss and I expect it to be gone when I come back in a couple days," Sae gets up, "I'm going to be volunteering in the hospital tomorrow so I won't be here to spoon feed you."

"You don't even soon feed me regularly," I snark.

"Would you like me to?" she asks, a brow raised teasingly.

"Well it would be easier," Sae rolls her eyes while Peeta tries not to laugh outright.

"I'll see you in a few days. Also, Katniss, don't be a stranger. You're more than welcome to go outside! The sun misses you," Sae teases.

"Yeah, well, I don't miss the sun," I bite back, grabbing our bowls and take them to the kitchen. If we're being honest, this is the most productive I've been in a while.

When I come back Peeta says, "What are you doing today?"

"Nothing," I shrug and plop back into the couch beside him, I'm already tired.

"You should come help rebuild. I mean, you are pretty strong. A little manual labour wouldn't be able to tire out the great Katniss Everdeen," he smiles crookedly and a part of me wilts a little. The great Katniss Everdeen so loved by Panem's people is dead. She died along with all those innocent people she killed.

But I don't say any of this. Instead I purse my lips and say, a teasing lilt to my voice, "I'm not quite as strong as you, and apparently, you're too weak, so I don't know if I'd be quite up to it."

Peeta snorts, "Oh please," then rolls his eyes. He pauses smiling at me before he gently pulls on my arm, "C'mon lazy bones. You're gonna get up today." 

I groan dramatically and roll onto my side, leaving my arm Peeta's holding in the air, "I can't, I'm too weak!"

Peeta laughs and I realize with a jolt that it's not awkward anymore. We're acting like old friends and that makes me so happy. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I own nothing.
> 
> Edit: hey look this chapter's been fixed too. just a side note: this chapter made no sense before and I highly commend you if you read it in it's previous state and still liked it.

Some people say that what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. I guess, in some cases that's true. I mean, just look at how Prim was before my first time in the arena and then after; she matured quite a lot. In fact sometimes, I think she was really always stronger than me. Sometimes I think she was just acting like she needed me because she knew it's what I needed. And I mean, look at all the good that did, because in my case, when I went through something stressful and horrible and life threatening, I just became more of an asshole. So I guess you could say that through all the shit I've survived, I've only gotten weaker.

Then there are people like Peeta. He went through everything I went through, plus all that shit with the Capitol, and he's had little to no time to grieve or to rest. I mean, the second he was cleared for regular duty, he was on on the job. He's been doing gret things, while I've been moping around feeling sorry for myself. He's what people mean when they say, "What doesn't kill you, only makes you stronger."

I hammer down yet another nail in whatever structure I'm supposed to be building, a little too hard and I splinter the wood. People stare at me when I curse and I can't help the defeated sigh that escapes me. 

"Chill out, Katniss," Peeta says as he passes carrying a sheet of plywood, a teasing smile on his face as he peeks over the top of it, "I really appreciate you testing out the integrity of the wood I've selected for the support structure, but we don't have to be so violent, yeah?"

"Ugh, sorry," I wipe the sweat off my forehead and turn to face him, I sway on my feet, briefly overtaken by a bought of dizziness.

"Uh, Katniss? Maybe you should sit down," Peeta turns to someone who's passing, mumbles a few words and then hands them the sheet he was carrying.

"Nah, I'm good," I comment, shielding my eyes from the sun with a gloved hand.

Peeta raises an eyebrow, "Really?" his voice is deadpan, "It's, like, 100 degrees out here and you're wearing winter garb. You're going to get heat stroke, at least take off one layer."

I know it's hot as balls out here—I have the under-boob sweat to prove it—but I really don't want to have to show the ugly scars all over my arms and legs. I don't want people to take one look at me and feel disgusted at the pink lines that run a strange path all over me. I don't want people to avert their eyes from me because they can't stomach the horrors my body must have seen to deserve the disfiguration and discolouration that it currently is. I hate my skin and I don't want anyone else to hate it too.

I don't want Peeta to hate it. 

"Are you trying to get me out of my clothes, Mr. Mellark?" I tease instead.

He snorts, "Yes, but not in the way you're thinking, you pervert." He moves to sit on an upturned pail and gestures for me to sit too. So I take a seat on a pile of 2x4's. He licks his lips, not meeting my eyes as he says, "It's the scars, isn't it?" I don't know how he does it, but he always manages to hit the nail right on the head. I don't say anything, so he continues, "You know, people are gonna stare at you despite the scars. You're the Mockingjay. They all want to get a glimpse of you before you're gone."

"Yeah, well," I clear my throat as I draw a line through a pile of sawdust, "I'm not going anywhere."

Peeta gives me an unamused look before saying, "We all have them, Katniss," he drums his fingers on the pail he's sitting on. "No one is going to think differently of you because you also have them."

I stay silent for a moment, "I'm actually just really cold all of the time," I cross my arms, "It's something of a medical condition."

"Oh, yeah," Peeta says with mock recognition, "I've heard of that. I think it's called Bullshit."

I stare at him for a second and he starts back, "You know, you're kind of an asshole."

"And you're going to get heat stroke," Peeta looses his teasing attitude, suddenly becoming serious, "I was serious when I said no one's going to care. Scars are signs of living and living is beautiful."

A smirk grows on my face, "You think I'm beautiful?"

"Um," his ears start to turn red and I'm sure if I could see his face behind his hair, it would be red too. "Well, you see I've actually got a wall to build."

"Oh yeah," I say totally nonchalant, "And I have true, living beauty to show off."

Peeta clears his throat as he stands, his cheeks still a little pink when he looks at me, "Right, well," he pauses, "Good talk, Katniss."

I let out a little snort, "Good talk, Peeta," I stand.

For a moment neither of us move, or say anything. Peeta's eyes are jumping between mine, searching for something, before he says, "In all seriousness, though, you should take off your sweater, you'll feel much better."

I sigh and rub the back of my neck. It's extremely sweaty. "Okay, yeah, you're probably right," then I grab the hem of my sweater and pull it over my head. Just rip off the band-aid. Get it over with quickly. Don't dwell on the possible what-if's. "There, it's off."

Peeta's cheeks darken. He clears his throat, "Feel better?" 

I nod, tying my sweater around my waist. I don't look at may arms as I say, "Get back to work. I want to be home for dinner. Haymitch is supposed to be coming over tonight and I think it would be nice to have the team all together again."

Peeta nods shallowly, "I suppose I'll see you then." He turns and heads back to work. I smile after him, it feels weird and soon my cheeks start to hurt, but it's genuine, which is nice. And as I work the rest of the day, no one even spares my scars a second glance. Maybe Peeta's right, and they all have scars too, or maybe they don't expect anything but scars form me. 

* * *

 

I'm near the back of the crowd, all of us heading home to the Victors Village at the end of the work day. People are laughing and jeering. They push and shove one another, only to pull them back in, smiling and laughing. There are others too, who walk solemnly, alone and remembering what once was. I see Peeta laughing with a group of people I only vaguely recognize. He claps one of them on the back as he laughs at something they said. A hint of a smile fights its way onto my face.

"Whoa, Katniss, you might want to chill out of all the happiness. We can't have people knowing you have feelings, now can we?" Thom, one of Gale's old buddies form the mines, bounds up beside me.

"Thom, you asshat. Where the fuck have you been?" I pull him into a hug and he claps me on the back a few times. Thom and I were never that close. We met through a shared love for Gale shortly before the Quell and have shared a few long-suffering sighs and looks because of our mutual friend. But he's a familiar face that ran in the same circle as I did and it's good to see him alive and well.

"Oh you know, just fighting the good fight. Hanging out with Bristel," he shrugs, nonchalant as ever.

"Oh yea, how's she doing? I haven't heard much from or about her," I ask. Bristel and Thom have been inseparable for as long as I can remember. Together forever, through anything, they've always said. 

"Ah, she's alive," Thom shrugs and rubs the back of his neck thoughtfully. My heart drops and my smile fades. "She lost her legs in the war. A pice of shrapnel got her right in the lower back, severed her spinal cord right in two," he shakes his head, "It's been hard, but she's happy to have her life, and honestly, I am too."

I clench my jaw and my shoulders tense. It's my fault. "I'm sorry, Thom," I clench my hands into fists, and look away. I can't look him in the eye. Bristel lost her legs because of me. Maybe I'll see her face amongst the others in my nightmares tonight.

"Hey," Thom grabs my shoulder and turns me to face him, "There's no need for that," he sets his jaw, determined, "She lost her legs fighting' the good fight. She don't blame you or the revolution you started, and neither do I. She told me, just the other day, that she's felt more free without her legs then she ever did with them anyway. Don't do that; don't blame yourself." He holds my eyes for a long time, "We don't blame you Katniss, you shouldn't either," his voice is a whisper, but it's harsh and meaningful and I'm so taken aback, all I can do is nod. Thom nods back, letting his hand fall from my shoulder. He continues to walk, and I follow a step behind him. The tension drains.

"Anyway," he says, lighter, "I'm thinkin' of askin' her to marry me. I mean, after all the shit we've been through, we deserve some happiness, don't ya think?" Thom strolls, hands in his pockets, head tilted back.

I force a smile. It comes out mangled and tight lipped. "Yeah," I pause, watching gravel crush under my boots, "We could all use the happiness of a good old fashioned wedding." And before Thom can say anything back, someone father up in the crowd calls his name.

He waves an arm before turning to me, "It was good seein' ya. I'll see you around," before he bounds off in the direction of where his name was called. I raise my arm in a wave and breathe out a heavy sigh. I'm happy for Thom. I'm glad someone's been able to move on with their life.

I watch the gravel as I walk, lost in my own head, just remembering, so I don't notice when Peeta steps up beside me. "So," he says and I jump, "Sorry," he rubs the back of his neck and ducks his head. 

I take a deep breath, shaking my head and trying to calm my rapid heart beat. It wouldn't do me any good to attack him right now. "No it's okay. I was just really zoned out, I guess."

"Yeah, I feel that," Peeta nods, shoving his hands into his pockets. We walk in silence for a while, then he says, "It's weird to be back, you know? I still haven't really gotten used to how different it looks now."

I nod my head as I watch a robin land on a budding tree branch. "We're back at the beginning, but everything is different."

He snorts a laugh out harshly, "Yeah, and everyone we love is dead."

I bark out an equally harsh laugh, "And we're shells of who we used to be."

Peeta laughs again, "Goddamn it, Katniss. What happened to us?" He pauses, "I used to be so blissful, now I'm taking so many meds, I can't even think."

"A fuckin war, that's what. We were pawns in a fucking game. And now we're left to deal with the mess made by the players," I snap, suddenly angry. He flinches and I hate myself, "They used us Peeta, we didn't ask for this, but it's what we got and it's so fucking shitty sometimes I can't breathe."  I cut myself off, to take a deep breath and clam down. I lick my lips and close my eyes, counting to ten. "I'm sorry."

Peeta shakes his head, his eyes wide at my outburst, "No, you're right." He nods resolutely. "They played us. I think I said that once."

"Probably," I rub the back of my neck, "You always were the smoother one," I pause, "You were the mouthpiece the revolution needed, not me."

Peeta breathes heavily out his nose, "I don't know if I could handle the stress."

"But you can handle the stress of what you got?"

"You think I'm handling this? You think I'm even remotely okay, right now?" Peeta bites out. I flinch at his harshness, but don't hold it against him.

I shake my head, "I don't think any of us are."

Suddenly Peeta deflates. He's so small and weak and helpless, it's all I can do to not wrap him in my arms. I want to hold him close and tell him we have each other. I want to tell him he'll be safe, I want him to know that he won't have to worry about anything anymore because we have each other and that's all we've ever needed before. I want to tell him that if we can survive all the shit we've gone though so far, I'm sure we can get through this. I want to hold his head between my hands and kiss his eyelids and his nose and his lips, his lips, his lips, oh my.

We don't say anything until we get to where our paths diverge to get us to our separate houses, "Is dinner still on at your place?" he asks, his voice raspy and unused.

I nod, "Yeah, Sae should be home by now and I'm sure she's cooking something real nice."

"Excellent," he smiles half-heartedly and my heart breaks, "Should I bring anything?" 

"No, not really," I shrug, "I mean your bread is pretty amazing and I'm sure Sae would love some."

"I'll bring some by," Peeta smiles, and this time, it's a little fuller, "I'll see you in about an hour, then?" I nod awkwardly and head up the path to Haymitch's house. I suppose it's time I collected our local drunk and upon my arrival, I walk right in. Haymitch and I are past the point in our relationship where we pause for pleasantries such as knocking.

"Haymitch," I call as I push through the entryway, "We're having dinner at my house. Get up."

"I'm already up. You're the one who has the sleeping in problem," he looks up from the book he's reading at the kitchen table. Honestly, I didn't know he could read. He's got a pair of wire rimmed glasses sitting low on his rosy nose and if I didn't know any better I'd think he was some sort of scholar. He looks like a cute little old man dressed in a beige button up wool cardigan and a pair of cream slacks. 

I snort, "Are you sure you can get over to my place yourself, you old man? Do you need me to help you? Need me to go get you a cane, maybe a stay in nurse?" I tease.

"I'll pass on the cane, but the stay in nurse sounds good as long as they're cute," he winks and I laugh.

"Pervert," I mumble as I clear off a chair for me to sit on.

He rolls his eyes, "Well sweetheart, when you get to be my age, you can be as perv-y as you like," he pulls a flask out of the front pocket of his cardigan and takes a swig.

"Ah, I see how it works: the older you get, the more of an asshole you're allowed to be," I say, deadpan, "I better start taking notes."

He rolls his eyes, "Looks like you're already well on your way," he pauses, "I heard you got up and helped today," I nod, "'Bout time. Jeez, people were starting to wonder if you really were dead."

I'm quiet for a long time, "I think I'd like to be."

"A lot of us do, sweetheart, but we don't get that luxury. We have legacies to carry on. That's the price, we as survivors, have to pay," Haymitch places his book on the table, cover down, folding his wire rimmed glasses on top.

"I guess," my eyes fall to my hands that rest on the table in front of me.

"How is it down there?" Haymitch asks, "In the town, I mean."

I shrug, "They got the bodies off the street and the debris are still being cleaned up. Buildings are being rebuilt. It's slow going, but they all have faith and I guess that's all that matters."

"We know that first hand, don't we?" Haymitch dangles the flask between his fingers.

I snort, "Yeah, I guess we do." I shake my head and rap my knuckles of the wooden table top twice, "I best be off, I've got dinner to prepare."

"Oh lord, call the hospital. We're gonna need a doctor on stand-by. Katniss is cooking," Haymitch teases.

I laugh unamusedly and shake my head, "Joke's on you, Sae is cooking. I'm just helping."

"Way to be an adult, Katniss," Haymitch remarks dryly. 

I shrug, "See you later, Haymitch," I call as I walk out of the old house.

Opening the door to my place, I breathe out a sigh for no reason other than to sigh. I open the fridge and drag out a large Tupperware container filled with beef stew. I pop open the lid and pour the contents into a pot to put on the stove top to heat up. I grate some cheese and brush it into the stew to melt. I place a few logs into the fireplace and start a fire. Soon, the whole house smells like beef stew and warmth; like Sae. And my heart warms a little. Today was a good day, I decide.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really don't own anything.
> 
> Edit: THIS ONE WAS WORSE!!! OMG. WHY. IM SO SORRY. i think it's better now. this is going to be a very tiring adventure.

I manage to slam the door closed on the flashing lights. I turn to the coat closet and reach into the back where my bow and quiver are stored. As much as I don't want to do this, I really want to do this. I hide my 'accessories' behind my back to hide them from the cameras. Once I open the doors again the cameras start to click and flash along with shouted questions and accusations. 

"Okay, okay, okay!" I yell over the commotion, "How about we all shut the fuck up!" I order. for a few seconds, no one moves.

"Someone's moody," someone in the back comments and the small crowd rumbles with laughter, "Could be pregnancy," before the word's even fully out of the persons mouth, the shouting and flashing starts again.

I roll my eyes, "Oh my god, I thought I left that stupid thing behind with the games," I mumble before I whip out my bow and notch an arrow, aiming at the closest reporters face. "If you guys don't leave right now, without your cameras and/or recorders, I'll destroy what lives you have left by calling Plutarch and filing an abuse report," I scan the crowd, they're holding onto my every word, it's unnerving.

"If you want an interview with me, set up an appointment or something. But don't just a _ttack me at my house_. It's sort of rude," A good portion of reporters hand over the pictures of me, "You sure you don't wanna give those to me?" I gesture at the others. They hesitate before handing them over, "Good. If I find my picture in a magazine or newspaper or website or whatever, I will call Plutarch," _I so won't call Plutarch. I really don't want to talk to that idiot._ All the reporters leave my porch, looking degected. I lower my bow and reach behind be to put it away before kicking the cameras and recorders into a corner for later.

"Hey!" a voice calls from the evening darkness.

"Hey," I turn towards the voice, squinting. I make out two figures: My boys.

"What the hell just happened?" Haymitch mumbles.

"All we hear is you yelling and threatening to call…Plutarch?" Peeta asks raising an eyebrow as he helps Haymitch up the porch steps. They both pause once standing on my porch, look at each other and start to laugh.

"Yeah, well while you two were taking your sweet old time, I was scaring the press away from my house, hence the Plutarch threat," I cross my arms.

"Is that what happened?" Peeta looks thoughtful, "It's weird there here, in District 12?"

"I know, what has this world come to?" I roll my eyes and usher them into the house where the smell of delicious home cooking brews.

"Wow. It smells so good," Peeta states in absolute awe. He passes me the bread and I take it into the kitchen to slice while the guys take their coats off and deposit them in the entryway.

Peeta walks into the kitchen looking slightly lost, "Do you need any help?" 

I hum while slicing the bread, "Actually, if you wouldn't mind, could you maybe set the table for me?"

Peeta smiles and nods his head once, "I don't mind."

I bite my bottom lip, "Bowls are just above your head and cutlery is-"

"In here," he finishes, opening the drawer containing cutlery, "I remember."

My face heats up and I busy myself with cutting bread, "Okay," I mutter as he takes down three bowls.

Once Peeta is out of the kitchen, I place my hands on my warm cheeks. Why am I blushing? Because Peeta remembered where my family kept cutlery? That's stupid. 

Quickly, to get my mind off whatever _this_ is, I place the now sliced bread on a plate and grab a tub of butter to place on the dinner table. Coming back to the kitchen, I grab the pot of stew, a heat mat to protect the table and a ladle. Peeta and Haymitch are already seated on either side of the table leaving me the head of the table. I set the stew down and take my seat.

"Well boys, dig in," I smile and they do.

* * *

 After dinner Haymitch stands up and says, "Well, I best be going. Got to get up early in the morning."

"Since when do you wake up early?" I ask from the kitchen sink where I'm washing dishes with Peeta.

"I happen to have very important company coming over tomorrow," Haymitch remarks, haughtily.

"Oh yeah?" Peeta asks, a chuckle in his voice.

"Yeah," Haymitch defends.

"Who is this 'important company' you speak of?" I ask handing a dish to Peeta who dries it before putting it away.

"That happens to be none of your business," Haymitch puts his nose in the air.

"Yeah, I'm sure," Peeta rolls his eyes and looks at me, "He probably just wants to get us alone, that old pervert."

I gasp dramatically—mostly just as a joke, but the blush on my cheeks has other ideas. "You mean, little old Haymitch is actually scheming?" I pause for dramatic effect, "Who would have guessed?"

"Ha ha, you're all very funny, but I really should be going," Haymitch pauses, "Seeing you kids together, and not at each others throats, is nice," he shakes his head, "Look what you did. You made me all sentimental and shit," Haymitch grumbles and stomps to the door. He grabs his coat, while Peeta and I are stuck in stunned silence, "Goodnight you lovebirds."

"Wait, Haymitch!" Peeta calls. Haymitch turns around, "Thanks." Haymitch smiles and walks out the door. Peeta turns back to me and shrugs, "That was..."

"Interesting," I finish. Peeta nods and we continue to wash dishes making small talk and dancing around the important, hurtful topics. Such as his hijacking or my sister or his family. We do need to talk about them; it's just that I don't want to destroy the friendship that we have. It would be such a shame to have to start over.

When we finish up the dishes, as much as I don't want to, I walk over to the phone to call Plutarch about the reporters; if I want something done about it, I'll have to be proactive about it.

"Hello. This is Plutarch. How may I help you?" Plutarch answers. I was expecting a secretary or something, but I guess he doesn't have one. Or he's taking all his calls now that it's evening?

"Hey Plutarch. This is Katniss," I sigh into the receiver.

"To what do I owe the pleasure?" he honestly sounds delighted. I want to throw up.

"Plutarch, if you want to interview me, please call first. That way I'm not ambushed by reporters," I deadpan.

"About that…" Plutarch isn't even guilty, I can hear it in his voice. That rat bastard...

"You knew about it?" I ask incredulously, "No, you know what? I'm not even surprised."

"I'm sorry, it's just there were rumours that the Mockingjay was actually dead and had been executed after the death of President Coin and things were getting rocky so we needed some way to calm the Districts. Katniss, the fighting may be over, but the war's not. There's still a lot of cleaning up to do. Panem is still a complete mess," Plutarch reasons.

I sigh, "I know, Plutarch, just next time, please tell me so I don't get grey hairs before I even turn twenty."

"You got it, Katniss. How are you and Peeta anyways?"

"We're fine."

"Oh, that's good. I was hoping you two would find your way back together after his treatment. How is he holding up?"

"I don't think you should really be asking me, but he seems fine to me."

"That's excellent. Do you think you two would be able to do an interview anytime soon?" Plutarch sighs, "The people are dying to see you two again."

"I'm sure they are, Plutarch, but I don't think either of us are going to be ready to do anything anytime soon," I sigh, "The war just ended, like you said, we need some time to rest. Peeta just finished treatment and I'm still all...messed up." 

"I completely understand, Katniss, but the people need a moral booster. They need to know that what they fought for wasn't for nothing and that the people they stood behind, won't just leave them once they didn't need them anymore," Plutarch sighs, "I know you don't like it, but we need to come up with something."

I sigh and wrack my brain for possible dates we could do an interview, "Remembrance day, maybe? That's in a few months and should give us the perfect reason as well as enough time to get our lives together."

Plutarch hums, "Yeah, that sounds like a plan. I mean, it's quite a ways away, but it's still something. At this time the two of you should be able to come to the Capitol without incident."

"Yeah, okay, that sounds like a plan. Make sure Effie knows the details, she's still our manager, right?" I say.

"As far as I know, yes," Plutarch clears his throat, "Alright, I'll talk with Effie, get all the details sorted, then we'll get you and Peeta down here for Remembrance day."

"Alright, see you then, I suppose."

"Bye," I hang up the phone with a sigh.

"So what's the verdict?" asks Peeta from behind me. I jump at his voice, not noticing he was there.

"Apparently, our next public appearance will be in a few months from now," I say with a small smile knowing that I won't have to deal with the cameras without Peeta by my side.

"When you say a few months, what exactly are you referring to?" Peeta asks for clarification.

"Remembrance Day," I answer as I lead Peeta into the living room.

"That's like almost a year away," Peeta comments. 

"Exactly. That means we can live peacefully for the next year, no cameras, no lights, no interviews," I say, "It'll be peaceful."

"Wow," Peeta smiles, "Sounds like a Fairy Tale." I snort as he sits on the couch beside me. He looks around and his eyes settle on the plant book. I grab it and open to the page with Rue flowers on it. Peeta looks over my shoulder.

"I painted that. Real or not real?" his voice is a whisper.

"Real. They're Rue flowers," the yellow and green picture stands at attention on the page. As I look at the picture of the flower I remember Rue. The tribute from 11. Suddenly an idea pops into my head, "Peeta?"

"Yeah?"

"I have an idea," Peeta looks me in the eyes and gives me his whole attention, "I was thinking—if you wanted to of course—you could, maybe, kinda, help me, um, help maybe make a book with the, uh, people, er, the people we lost? Please?" I stutter.

"Sure," Peta smiles, "I'd love to help. It sounds like a great idea. It would help us remember the ones we loved and lost," I take a sigh of relief. I was so nervous. I didn't know if he would like it or not, but he does like my idea.

"Great. You could paint their faces if we can't find a photo and I can write everything I can remember about them. It would kinda be like the plant book except it would be with people."

"Yeah."

"On my next appointment with Dr. Aurelius I'll ask him to send parchment paper so we can get stared," I've been calling Dr. Aurelius once a week for a head treatment. I think it's been paying off because for one whole day I didn't want to scream randomly at nothing.

"Sounds like a plan," Peeta has that charming smile of his on and I have to admit, I love it.


	4. Falling

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, I don't own anything.

Friends? More? Less? What are Peeta and I?

It's been a month since our new found friendship. We've worked on the book a lot together. Peeta gave me a list one day saying it was his list of things that can produce an episode:

Tracker Jackers/Wasps/Hornets

Needles

Blood

Pain

Anxiety/Fear

Dogs/Mutts

Gale

When I first saw the list I was surprised to see that my name wasn't on there, until he told me that I don't produce them, I intensify them. My first thought was: _Well that makes me feel a million times better._ Sarcasm implied. I felt terrible. He couldn't be friends with me. I'm a hunter. I deal with blood on a regular basis. When I told him this he just brushed it off and said he could control them. He also said that Dr. Aurelius told him to try to face them to learn to control them on a whim. I was still a little uneasy about him being around me.

That day I went around the whole Victors Village and removed all the wasp nests and got myself a couple thousand stings. He was happy that I did all that for him, but really mad for getting myself injured.

We now have a routine. I go over to his house for breakfast and he comes over for dinner. I hunt, he bakes and Haymitch drinks until the liquor runs out. Just like old times minus the whole President Snow-gonna-kill-you-if-you-don't-put-on-a-show thing and Peeta-is-my-fiancé thing too. This time Peeta is my friend and I'm here all alone without my sister and my mother. Peeta's all I got and I'm all he's got.

This is where my question comes into play. What do Peeta and I have? Are we friends, or are we more, or are we less. I don't want to ask, that would make me sound dumb. He trusts me so much and I trust him with my life.

That day as I walk into his house for breakfast the smell of pancakes wafts in the air. Peeta only makes pancakes if he has a hard question or has something really sombre to tell me.

As I sit down, Peeta sets down a plate of pancakes. I dress them in butter and jam.

"Katniss, I have a question." Peeta says sitting across the table from me. "It's about something that might have happened." He pauses. "Last night I had a dream about us."

"What do you mean 'us'?" I ask furrowing my brow.

"I had a dream where we were in a cave." He gets that look like he is far away, searching his mind for something. The details of his dream. Desperately trying to remember. "It was raining and I had just awoken form being asleep and I see you laying in a pool of blood. You weren't awake and there was a cut on your head. Real or not real?" The moment he woke up after the feast.

"Real, that was the moment you woke up from me drugging you so I could go get the medicine for your leg at the feast. I got a huge cut on my forehead courtesy of Clove and passed out from blood loss. It was in the first games." He nods now understanding.

"I also remember being in a sewer, I think, and I was having an episode. I see you grab my hands and kiss me on the mouth until you have to come up for air then you say 'stay with me.' and then I say 'Always.'. Real or not real?"

"Real. That was in the Capitol during the war just after the mutts killed Finnick." He nods.

"Finnick died because of me, real or not real?"

"Not real. That was all Snow."

We eat the rest of breakfast silent. When I get up to leave Peeta follows.

"What are you doing today?"

"I was thinking about hunting and then go help with the rebuilding."

"Okay. I'll be over for dinner then."

"'Kay."

When I get to the forest I decide to climb a tree. I pick a tree about 50 feet tall and climb it until I'm about 40 feet up.

I barely got any sleep last night due to nightmares and fall asleep in the tree. I wake up when a stick hits me in the face. It's then that I realize that I'm falling out of the tree.

I hit my right shin on the trunk of the tree while trying to stop from falling. I hear an audible crack that sends a crazy amount of pain up my leg to my spine. When I hit the ground I break the fall with my left arm causing my wrist to break and my arm to pop out of place. I'm overcome with pain and black out almost immediately. When I come to I'm still in the forest but it's about noon. I sit up and more pain shoots in every direction. I let out a groan of pain.

Now it's time to assess the damage. I definitely broke my right leg-the one that I hit on the tree trunk and I possibly broke a couple of ribs.

I manage to stand up with the aid of a tree. I limp to the fence gate and open it up to pass through. Once inside I start to limp to the hospital.

Thom, one of Gale's old crewmates in the mines before the Quell, comes up to me and says: "Katniss, are you okay?"

"Yes." He gives me a skeptical look, but doesn't ask more. The last thing I need is more people staring at me. I know I'm not okay.

When I arrive at the hospital I limp up to the reception desk.

"Can I help you miss?" The nurse behind the desk asks in a nasally voice not looking up at me.

"Yeah. I fell out of a tree while hunting and I think, no, I know I broke something." She looks up at me shocked to see the high and mighty Mockingjay is injured. "Yes, I'm injured. What else is new? Get me help." I guess I should have been less mean, but everything hurts and I'm at the end of my tolerance. "Sorry, I'm in pain. Just get me some morphine or something." The nurse nods still star struck. _Jeez, I'm not that cool._

The nurse takes me to a room and tells me to change into a hospital gown if I can.

I get my jacket half off and stop because of the pain on my arm and shoulder.

"If you could pop my shoulder back into place I could change into my gown by myself." I say to the nurse.

"I could do it, but it would have to be without morphine and that would be painful. Like more painful than what you're feeling now. If you get irritated when in this much pain I don't want to see you with more."

"Lady, I've been on fire, cut in the forehead, given a concussion, strangled, gotten shot, and been through explosion after explosion. I can handle all of this without morphine; I only want it to make it easier." I take a deep breath to calm myself. "Please just pop my shoulder into place." The nurse nods and comes to my side. I sit in the chair closest to me and she grabs my arm.

"Ready?" I nod. She places a hand on my shoulder and the other one on my arm. She pulls down on my arm and pushes down on my shoulder. The pain is worse than what was feeling before, but only emits a small intake of breath from me. A loud pop fills the room. _That was my shoulder._ I tell myself.

"Now change and I'll go get the X-Ray doctor." She says as she walks out of the room.

"Thanks." She smiles back at me.

I change into my hospital gown and sit in a chair, extending my right leg easing the pain.

As the adrenaline wears off, I start to feel all of the pain and it's almost unbearable.

The doctor walks in, closing the door behind him. "Hello, Miss Everdeen. I'm Dr. McKee. Can you tell me what exactly happened?"

"Sure. I went hunting this morning, as usual, and I was feeling unusually tired. I climbed a tree and fell asleep. I then woke up falling from the tree. I freaked out and started to thrash to stop myself from falling. In the process I slammed my leg into the trunk of the tree and heard a crack. When I landed I put out my arm to brace the fall and ended up breaking my wrist and popping out my shoulder."

"Okay. I'll be right back. I'm just gonna go get the camera. Do you want to call anyone?"

"Yeah." Dr. McKee handed me the telephone and told me if I could to move to the examination table. With much difficulty I limped over to the table. Once I was sitting on the table I dialed Peeta's home phone number. He probably won't be home, but I'll leave a message anyways.

Much to my surprise he answered. "Hello."

"Hey, Peeta."

"Hey, Katniss. Why are you calling from the hospital? Did Haymitch get hurt? Did you?" Stupid caller id.

"Haymitch is fine. I fell out of a tree hunting today so I won't be working on the bakery for a while. I also might be late for dinner."

"Is it severe?" He asks his voice thick with concern.

"Peeta calm down, I'm fine. I only have a few broken bones. I'll be fine, I'll live." I hear Peeta take a deep breath over the phone.

"Do you want me to come down there?" His tone is a lot calmer.

"Have you handed out the bread yet?"

"Yes."

"If you want to you can come by, but you might have to wait a while. The doctor still has to examine me and set the cast."

Peeta laughs. "How do you know you broke anything if you he hasn't even looked at the injury yet?"

"Peeta, trust me, I know." We both laugh. "I gotta call Haymitch. He will probably be too drunk to do anything, but he deserves to at least to know. Then I have to call Sae."

"I'll call Sae and Haymitch. You just get that cast on." We both laugh again. We say our goodbyes and hang up the phone just as Dr. McKee walks into the room with a computer and a small camera.


	5. Attracted

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> still own nothing.

"Well, Miss Everdeen. You broke quite a few bones." Dr. McKee says looking through the pictures he took, on the computer. "Your wrist is fractured and you shattered your leg. You also have a few broken ribs."

"Well that's not the worst injury I've ever had." I comment. Dr. McKee looks up.

"What was that?"

"Well I have two. One is that I got shot and lost my spleen. The other is that I lost like 75% of my skin to burns."

"Wow. That is pretty bad." Dr. McKee takes a seat and turns to me. "Miss Everdeen we need to put on a cast. Are you alright with that? Do you need or want anyone in here with you?"

"No. I should be good." Dr. McKee nods his head and sets to work.

"What color cast do you want?"

"Do you have forest green?"

"Yep."

"That one, please."

* * *

I walk into Peeta's house with the aid of my crutches.

"Hey Peeta." I call into his house.

"Katniss?" He calls from his kitchen, hopeful.

"Yeah."

"Are you okay? How bad is the damage?" He asks concern lining his voice.

"I'm fine. I broke my leg, wrist and a couple ribs." I explain.

"What about your shoulder? You said you popped it out of place"

"My shoulder is fine. There's just a little bruising. It still hurts a bit."

"Does your mom know yet? I mean, about your fall."

"Yeah I called her at the hospital." We sit on the couch facing each other, more for my leg than anything.

"How'd that go?"

"Wonderful" I say my voice thick with sarcasm. "She kept telling me what to do, where to go and when. I could barely understand her; she was talking a mile a minute." We both start to laugh. "She wants me to come visit."

"What did you say?"

"I told her I would come if the Capitol people let me go." Peeta nods his head. "Dr. McKee said to tell Dr. Aurelius and to take Sleep Syrup at night to make it easier to go to sleep with the pain." Peeta nods his head again. "In a month I go in to see how I'm healing. You know, to determine how long it will take to heal."

"You're such a klutz you know that right?" Peeta says with a smirk on his face.

"Haha. Very funny. Pick on the cripple." The smile on my face vanishes "I won't be able to help on the rebuilding."

"It's okay. If you want you could help me decorate the bakery. They finished yesterday."

"Thanks Peeta."

"No problem. Are you hungry? I just finished dinner."

"Yeah. Have you eaten yet?"

"No. I haven't."

"Then let's eat." We go to the dining room and sit in our usual spots. We play a round of Real or Not Real. When Peeta asks a hard question he quickly goes to a softer one right after the answer.

"You wake up screaming and thrashing from nightmares. Real or Not Real?"

"Real. Every night. Buttercup tries to help, but he hates me just as much as I hate him. I sometimes end up kicking him when I'm thrashing."

"I used to help you ward off them and it worked. Real or Not Real."

"Real. We used to seep together. On the train on the Victory Tour, you would come out of your room and come into mine. I let you in and you would sleep with me in your arms." I get a rush of warmth from the memory. A small smile spreads across my face.

"You did the same with Gale. Real or Not Real?" My smile vanishes. I see Peeta clench his fists at the mention of his name.

"Not Real." I shake my head. "Not Real. I just couldn't do that. It wouldn't feel right. He was like a brother, but he burned that bridge. No pun intended." Peeta nods. His fists unclench and his muscles visibly unclench.

This isn't the first time I've noticed his muscles, but it sure has an effect. His biceps bulge under his skin-tight t-shirt. The room is suddenly to hot. I'm officially attracted to Peeta.

I avert my gaze before I start to blush or do something stupid.

I finish my dinner and I wash my plate putting it in the cupboard.

"Sorry to eat and run, but I gotta go home and take my meds." _Please believe my terrible lie. Please believe it._

"I'll walk you home. Don't want you to fall." _Shit._

I walk home, Peeta following close behind. When we get inside I go to the washroom and get a few orange flavored tic-tacks out of the medicine cabinet and a glass of water and down them like pills.

"We should work on the book." Peeta says as I walk into the room.

"Okay. Sure. I'll go get it."

"No you won't. I will. Where is it?"

"Peeta, it's right there." I point to the bookcase beside the fireplace. There are only four books on the whole thing: The Plant Book, Peeta's Families Recipe Book, Cinna's Mockingjay Suit Sketchbook and The People Book. They all look relatively the same though. Peeta grabs the book and sets it in between us.

"Okay. Who today? We've done Rue, Prim, my dad, Rye, Nikel, Cinna, Boggs and your dad." Peeta lists.

"Finnick!" I exclaim.

"How did we almost forget him?"

"I don't know. But we have gone against all odds, so we're not normal." We both laugh. When we finish Finnick's page I take my Sleep Syrup and get him to take me upstairs.

When he lays me in my bed I grab his wrist to keep him from walking away.

"Stay with me?"

Peeta looks at me in the eyes. Debating with himself. My eyes pleading him. I know what's going on. He's afraid of having an episode and hurting me.

"Always." Peeta slips into the bed beside me. I lay my head on his arm. He wraps his arms around my small frame, careful of my wounds.


	6. Bakery Part One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> nothing I this I own.

I wake up to find the air in to room is cold and dank and the other side of the bed cold to the touch. Peeta's gone.

He must be making breakfast.

I get up and have a shower. I get dressed in a t-shirt and long stretch pants. I'm no longer afraid of what people think of my scars. Peeta said they make me look beautiful. I put a black ankle sock over top of my cast and on my other foot. I can only wear one shoe thanks to my fall. I pull my hair into a braid.

When I het downstairs, he is nowhere to be seen. He left.

I grab a sweater and walk over to his house to see if he's there. I knock on the door, no answer.

"Peeta." I call through the door. No answer still. There is only one place I can think he would go: The Bakery.

I go as fast as I can on my crutches to Peeta's bakery. The sky is full of clouds, heavy with rain. When I get there I see him through the window. I breathe a breath of relief. He's okay.

Now for my next problem: Why did he leave? Was it too soon? Does he hate me for rushing things? I don't think so. We've been… whatever we are for over a month and a half now. That, I think, is plenty of time. Or was it all just a pleasantly crazy dream?

I open the door to the bakery and walk in.

"You held me as I fell asleep last night. Real or Not Real?" I ask Peeta. Peeta turns to face me, but doesn't meet my eye.

"Real." He answers his voice just barely above a whisper.

"Why did you leave?"

"I left because I thought you were going to kill me." His words hit me like a ton of bricks. A single tear rolls down my face just as it starts to pour outside. I quickly wipe away the tear, but more come.

"I'll just eave then." I say through my tears. Who knew I could be so heartbroken? I step out into the rain pulling the hood of my sweater over my braid.

"Katniss wait." I continue to walk. He catches up to me in a flash. _Stupid crutches._ "I want to be with you. It's just…" He trails off.

"It's just what Peeta? You're scared? You're angry? You're hurting? Well guess what…I am too! You are the only thing that eases my fear and the pain that engulfs me. You're the only reason that I'm living right now. If it weren't for you I would merely be existing, not living. So if you're scared, if you're angry, if you're hurting, then join the club!" I pause for dramatic effect. I feel like one of those girls from one of those Capitol soap operas. "If you are, tell me so I can help you just like you help m-" Peeta cuts me off with a kiss on my lips.

The kiss was magical. In the street in, the pouring rain. It was heated and had much passion behind it. It held so much emotion: Pain, Anger, Sadness, Love, Passion, and heartbreak. It's our first kiss since the sewer.

We break apart for air, our foreheads still touching.

"Me." I finish my sentence. He smiles, and then laughs.

"You might need to get a new cast. Look at it." I look down to my foot. Sure enough there is my cast melting on my leg.

"I guess I'll see you later then?" I say looking into Peeta's blue eyes. "I gotta go get a new cast."

"I'll come with you."

"No you stay here; you've got work to do."

"That can be dealt with later. I'm taking you to the hospital. You are now officially my girlfriend." I smile up at him.

"Okay." We walk to the hospital. When we get to the hospital, Dr. McKee is at the desk talking to a nurse.

"Hey, Dr. McKee." I say. He turns around to see me and Peeta standing there soaked to the bone.

"Katniss, it's been less than a day and you've already destroyed your cast. How did you manage that?" Dr. McKee asks.

"It's raining and I don't have a car. I needed to help Peeta with the bakery. I forgot to grab my umbrella, I don't mind the rain."

"Are you guys okay? You must be freezing."

"I'm fine thank-you." Says Peeta in the sort of way you would speak to someone older than you, with respect.

"Peeta can you go get an umbrella? I don't need to come here again today or wait for this stupid rain to be over." Peeta nods his head and eaves he hospital.

"Miss Everdeen, you can go sit in that room over there and I'll be right in. Green right?" Dr. McKee points to a room.

"Yeah." I get to the room and it looks just like the one I was in yesterday.

Dr. McKee walks in and starts to remove the wet mess of what once was my cast on my wrist.

"Once I put the cast on your wrist again, could you do me the favor of rolling up your pant leg so I can put on your cast?" Dr. McKee says, looking up from my wrist.

"Yeah, sure." I answer.

Dr. McKee finishes my wrist and I hike up my pant leg to just above my knee. He starts to take off my cast on my leg. Once he finishes my cast on my leg, I put my pant leg over top of the cast.

"Now, when it's raining please remember to bring an umbrella with you. You shouldn't hunt until the leg cast comes off and you have adjusted to not having a cast again." Dr. McKee pats his hand on my wet back. "Are you sure you're not cold?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. I've been through quite a bit, I think I could handle a bit of rain." I answer.

"Take care, Miss Everdeen."

"You take care too Dr. McKee." I answer, waving my hand as I walk out of the room.

I like Dr. McKee. He's nice. I think I trust him more than I trust Dr. Aurelius, but I never really trusted him. He's too Capitol for my liking.

When I get to the waiting room, Peeta is sitting in one of the seats - elbows on his knees and hunched over looking at the floor - holding the giant umbrella Effie sent to Peeta a couple of weeks ago.

"'Kay, let's go. You need my amazing artistic skills for your bakery." I say to Peeta. He chuckles.

"You. Katniss Everdeen, artistic? Okay." He stands up and we walk together to the door of the hospital. The rain has stopped, of course.

 _I thought you were going to kill me._ Peeta said to me. Why did he think I was going to kill him? Did he think I was the mitt version of myself? Was he in the middle of an episode? Was it the after effects of a nightmare? All of the possible answers to my question are terribly depressing for me who, until today, didn't think I loved him like I did in 13. I now you can't just turn off love like we had, but I thought I was no longer in love with Peeta Mellark. I guess he snuck up on me again like Annie and Finnick.

Poor Annie. She's going to have her baby soon and it's not going to have a father all because of my stupid revenge suicide mission. If I hadn't made up that lie to my squad about Coin giving me orders to go to Snow and kill him myself, Finnick would still alive and Annie would still have a husband and their child would still have a father.

The grey fog threatens to swallow me up. Then do I realize that Peeta's been calling my name.

"What? Yeah?" I say snapping out of my thoughts.

"I was just asking what color we should paint the bakery's interior." Peeta says. "But you were off in that little mind of yours. Where exactly did you go anyway?"

"I was just thinking about a lot of things, Sad depressing things."

"What sad and depressing things?"

"Finnick's death, Finnick's kid not having a father, death, you thinking I'm a mutt."

"I don't think you're a mutt." Peeta says firmly. "At least not anymore." He adds quieter. I know he hates to remember the days that he hated me, but to remember them is to get over them.

"I know it's just that it's hard to not think about bad things when you don't have very many good things to block out the bad things with." At first Peeta looks worried – his eyebrows knit together in furrow – then he smiles an almost playful mischievous, like he knows something I don't know.

"Then I guess we'll just have to make some then, right?" He says opening the door to the eggshell colored bare drywall that makes up the walls of the bakery.

Row upon row of paint cans line the baseboards. A heavy sheet covers the floor to protect it from the paint, that with me doing the work is sure to get everywhere…including myself. I look at the paint cans in utter awe. I've never seen so many cans and they're all different colors.

"I couldn't choose what color so I got one of each. I got a good deal too. They said that whatever colors I didn't use I could either give to the workers working on the hoses or give I back to the store as long as it hasn't been used." Peeta says.

"What were you thinking about the feel you wanted in your bakery? Did you want that kinda cozy sort of I'm-at-home-baking-myself feel or did you want a theme like rustic western or having a picnic. You could get a mascot and do a theme around the mascot. Like the guy who sells dairy has a cow mascot."

"So what you're saying is that I should make like a toast superhero and make a theme out of that. Super toast to the rescue!" We both laugh.

"Hey, it's your bakery. You want to have flying toast attempt to save people who are like, I don't know, a hundred times bigger than it, be my guest." I say putting my hands up in mock surrender.

"Haha. Very funny." Peeta pauses, "Seriously though what are we gonna do in here? I don't like all these walls blank. It's eerie almost."

I look out the door Peeta propped open to let a breeze through the bakery. Through the door I see a dandelion that hasn't lost its seeds yet.

"I know exactly what we can do."


	7. Bakery Part Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still owing nothing.

"All the walls should be grey and then on that wall," I point to the wall that hides the kitchen behind the cash register, "should be a dandelion that hasn't shed its seeds yet."

Peeta's smile widens. "Where did that idea come from?"

I point to the dandelion outside. I turn back to Peeta and look to the wall I want the dandelion on. "Peeta, we should make that wall" I point to the wall I'm looking at, "dandelion yellow instead of grey and the dandelion should be grey."

Peeta just nods and smiles. "Okay. Sounds great. I'm gonna go down to the construction site and give them all this paint."

"Okay." I say distractedly looking at the wall I want to paint yellow. "I'm just gonna get started."

Peeta nods and walks out of the bakery with a wheelbarrow full of paint and heads down to the official construction site.

I open the can of dandelion yellow paint and pour it into a paint tray. I pick up the tray and walk over to the wall. Picking up the roller brush with the long handle to reach the top of the wall, I dip it into the paint and start to paint the wall in nice even strokes.

By the time Peeta gets back with and empty wheelbarrow, I have finished the first wall. I have yellow paint all over me: in my hair, on my shirt, on my pants and on both my casts.

Peeta chuckles. "You've got something on your face." He rubs my cheek with his thumb. "There, all gone." He says this last part in a whisper. I smile up at him. "You also have something in your hair." He puts his hand in my hair where I know the yellow paint is. "You know, I kind of like you with yellow paint in your hair."

I laugh and smack his arm playfully. "Whatever." I say as I roll my eyes.

"No, really. You'd beautiful even if you were wearing a barrel."

"A barrel, eh? I like that. I think I might start wearing barrels now." I say matter-of-factly.

"No seriously don't." Peeta says, his eyes growing to the size of bowling balls.

I start to laugh. "I'm just kidding."

I abruptly stop laughing when I see a bumble bee fly into the open bakery door. Peeta's pupils dilate and he looks at me and says

"Katniss. Go." He struggles just to get out those words.

Should I go? Should I stay? If I stay I could get hurt, but if I go Peeta could get hurt and I would be ultimately responsible. _No._ I can handle the pain and I know that whatever Peeta says right now he doesn't mean because he isn't himself.

"No. I'm staying here, I won't leave you." I say stubbornly.

Peeta strides towards me. "You. You're the one that killed my parents and my brothers. You're the one that killed all those innocent people of District 12 when it went up in flames. You're the one that-"

"No. Stop. I'm not the one that killed your parents or your brothers, the Capitol did. I'm not the one that killed all those innocent people when District 12 went up in flames, the Capitol did. I'm not the one that hijacked you, the Capitol did. Just stop. Come back to me. I know the real Peeta is in there. The good Peeta. Come back to me." I hold his gaze, my jaw locked and a silent tear running down my face.

Peeta's eyes go back to normal and he looks away in shame. I put my finger under his chin and gently make him look me in the eye. "Hey. It's okay. You didn't hurt yourself or me or anyone."

"I said such awful things. Why are you still here with me, not running for the hills like any sane person would do?"

"Peeta, that wasn't you that said those things. It was the Capitol." I rest my hand on the side of Peeta's face and he leans into my touch. I smile. "Peeta you know just as well as I do that I'm not completely sane."

We both laugh. He then leans in and kisses my forehead. "You're golden, you know that right?" he says.

"Let's get back to painting. Don't want to ruin a perfectly good painting day with sappy, cheesy romancey stuff." Peeta laughs as he pours the grey paint into the paint dish and starts to roll the paint onto the wall. I soon follow suit.

* * *

When Peeta and I walk back home that night, we are covered, head to toe, in grey and yellow paint.

"I can't wait until the bakery has its grand opening. There will be so many people from all over Panem." Peeta says, poking me in the ribs.

"Yeah, and we can't forget the fan-girling that will be going on. 'Oh my goodness. I can't believe I'm actually meeting Peeta Mellark! Oh my goodness. I'm standing in his bakery! All my friends are gonna be _so_ jealous!'" I say, my voice going high pitched and nasally. We both crack up laughing.

"Where there's Peeta fans, there will always be Katniss fans." Peeta points out.

"Yeah. And Capitol citizens."

"Crap." We both laugh some more. This feels so right: Me and Peeta walking home together, laughing and not caring what other people think of us. We've had to care far too long about what people think of us, and I think that both of us are done with the games and the caring. It's just gonna be us on this small planet that we have created from now on. Maybe including Haymitch, my mother, Dr. Aurelius, Plutarch and Sae every once in a while.

When we get to the part of the Village where Peeta has to go right an I have to go left, Peeta grabs my hand and says: "I'm just gonna go home to freshen up then I'll be over for dinner. Okay?"

I nod my head and he lets go of my hand. I instantly feel colder inside and like a piece of me has been taken away from me. Peeta makes me feel warm and fuzzy and complete. He always has, I've just never noticed it before until now.

I walk the rest of the way to my house in silence. When I walk in Sae is making dinner.

"Hello Katniss. What exactly did you do today to get yourself so full of paint?" Sae asks when she sees me.

"Well I helped Peeta paint the bakery. We're almost done. Tomorrow we have to finish just one small detail and then we can start installing shelves and appliances. Peeta's super excited about finishing his bakery. It's so much bigger than the last bakery." I stop talking realising I'm rambling. Sae doesn't mind though because she's smiling at the pot she's stirring. She must be amazed at the progress I've made: From spending all my time sitting on the couch just staring into the coals not saying anything to rambling on and on in the kitchen about my day and the one person who changed my life simply by waking me up with a 'What are you doing today?'. "I'm sorry. I'm rambling."

"It's okay honey. Go get cleaned up." I nod and head up the stairs, careful not to stumble with my crutches. "Don't forget to put a bag over your casts. Don't need to go get another one already." _If only you knew Sae, if only you knew._

After my extremely uncomfortable shower dinner is ready and Peeta is sitting at the table, waiting for me. Sae had left already leaving just me and Peeta together.

I sit down at the table and dish myself some food. As we eat, we play a round of 'Real or Not Real'. After dinner Peeta and I wash the dishes and then start to work on the book.

At about 10:30, I start to yawn.

"Katniss are ya ready for bed?" Peeta asks.

"Maybe. Are you staying?" I ask in my most innocent voice.

"Maybe. You'll just have to scoot your cute little boot up to bed and get ready and see if I decide to come up or not." He says with a cute little smirk on his face.

"Fine. But one thing, this boot could kick your boot anytime." I say pointing to myself then to Peeta. I laugh and walk up the stairs as I see Peeta blush.

Just when I finish brushing my teeth, I hear the door open. I put my tooth brush back into the drawer and walk into the room. Peeta lies in my bed on his side under the covers, with no shirt on. His perfectly sculpted body lying there is looking amazing. His abs perfectly pronounced and his scars that crisscross his skin like a crazy road map make him look strong and indestructible. His arms that look like they could crush steel are so gentle I know, and that boyish half smile he always gives me when he complements me or says something cute just makes my heart melt.

He sees me staring at him and smiles. "Come 'ere." He gestures for me to come over to him with his head. I crawl under the covers and Peeta's arms automatically encircle me in his warmth. His smell of cinnamon and dill and of cheap aftershave envelopes me with familliarness.

I snuggle into his arms and fall asleep knowing that everything will be okay because the word is a better place and I now have someone by my side to take on whatever the world throws at me. I know I'm not alone!


	8. Grand Opening

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really don't own anything.

All this last month Peeta and I have been working the bakery. We put up the shelves together, we picked out the counter tops together, we put in the floor together, we picked out the tables and chairs to make the bakery into a Bakery and Café, we picked out the appliances together and we now are about to open the Mellark Bakery & Café for the first time ever together.

Yes, today is the Grand Opening for the bakery. We agreed to have the camera crews come out to district 12 to televise the grand opening. We agreed on only one condition: We don't do an interview. Plutarch and I had a long and might I add noisy conversation over the phone a week and a half ago over the interview. Plutarch finally relented and sent out the camera crews to get the footage, but no interview.

Peeta and I are now just finishing up on small little details. Peeta has to say a small little speech and then wants me to cut the giant red ribbon outside the shop.

Peeta has already stocked the display case with gorgeous cakes and pastries and loaded the shelves in the store with buns, rolls, loaves, ryes and any other type of bread you could think of. I've made thousands of cups of coffee, tea and hot chocolate.

I'll be running the till because I can't really walk that fast and Peeta will greet the costumers at the door; shaking their hands as they enter, receiving their congratulations. He might also end up in the back kneading dough for more bread.

"Peeta are you ready yet? The camera crews are here and the crowd is beginning to form." I call into the bakery and I look out the window.

"Yeah, I'm coming." Peeta says as he walks out from the back. "I can't believe that the bakery is finally open. It's crazy."

I nod not knowing what to say. I'm never good at knowing what to say. I open the door for Peeta and then follow him out.

The first thing I notice is the roar of the crowd and the flashing of the camera lights.

I scan the crowd, smiling and waving. I almost miss him, my eyes flit right over his grey ones. _Am I hallucinating? Is that Gale?_ I ask myself in my head. Sure enough there, standing in the crowd is none other than Gale Hawthorne himself.

I knew today was too good a day. I woke up this morning, not having a nightmare at all the night before. I had a wonderful breakfast and I walked to the bakery all by myself without falling or tripping. When I got to the bakery everything was perfect and ready to go nothing was even remotely wrong. But then again I was wrong. I was so wrong because standing in the crowd, grey eyes staring boldly into mine, stands Gale.

I look away quickly and start to smile and wave again. Peeta makes his lovely speech and I cut the ribbon. After the ribbon was cut the crowd clapped and Peeta and I raced into the bakery before the people. The bakery was busy all day, steady flow of costumers coming and going throughout the day. One person was there all day, but never came to the till to ask for coffee or tea or even a small muffin. No. he sat in a chair in the very farthest corner from me, staring. I could feel his eyes on me every second and he knew it. It was making me uncomfortable and yet, he refused to look away.

At the end of the day when the flow of people died down and Gale was one of the only people left in the bakery, he walked up to the counter and looked me in the eye and said: "Hi Catnip. How you doin'?"

"I was doing great until u decided to show up." I try to put as much venom as possible into my voice. I need to get him out of here before Peeta sees him. Gale might trigger one of Peeta's episodes.

"What happened to you? Did he do it to you?" Gale says eyeing my casts.

"No Gale, it wasn't Peeta who did this. I did this. I fell out of a tree and broke a couple bones. Get over it; it's not that big of a deal."

Gale looks away. "Are you still mad at me for something that was completely out of my control?"

"Gale I got over that. I don't blame you for that. I blame Coin and Snow, not you. That's not why I'm mad. I'm mad because here I am all day with you staring at me. Do you know how uncomfortable that was for me? I for one also am not in the mood to talk to you about _her_ " I still can't say her name, "or anyone. I'm just not in the mood for talking to you period. End of story. Leave Gale before I make you." Gale's face contorts into confusion then anger then sadness. He then turns around and leaves. I turn around to see Peeta in the middle of an episode.

 _Could this day get any worse?_ I get slammed into the counter by Peeta. _Yes, yes it could._

"Peeta, listen come back to me. Whatever you are seeing is not real, okay? Not-real." I say cautiously.

"Liar! You are in love with Gale. You don't love me you love him. Don't even try to pull this shit on me you little slut. I don't know how deluded I used to be if I was ever in love with something as disgusting as you." Peeta's words hurt, but I ignore them. I know that the person that's talking is not the Peeta I've learned to love. It's the evil, Capitol-bread-mutt, hijacked version Peeta, but it still hurts just all the same.

"Peeta please. Come back to me. I love you, not Gale. He's like a brother to me. Peeta please. I don't know what you're seeing, but just remember that only the memories that aren't 'shiny' are real." I don't realize that I'm crying until one of the tear drops lands on my hand. "Peeta please come back."

"You still lie. Brothers and sisters don't kiss each other. At least not the way that you kiss each other." I've had enough. I'm done. I'm ready to throw in the towel.

I grab Peeta's wrists and uncurl his fingers one at a time while softly humming the Valley Song. His bod visibly unclenches and he relaxes into my touch.

By the time I've finished the song Peeta has come back to himself and is slowly remembering what happened.

"Katniss did I hurt you?" His voice full of concern.

"No Peeta, you did not hurt me." _Liar._ I don't notice the pain, not only in my heart, but on my lower back from being pushed into the counter. My heart feels broken because of the words Peeta said to me.

 _You idiot. How could you open up after so soon? It's only been a couple months. Just because you open up a bakery together doesn't mean that he's better, that you're better._ A small annoying voice yells in my head. _NO!_ I scream right back at it. _That was bad Peeta. Good Peeta is back now. He is good…_ I repeat that sentence over and over again until the small annoying voice goes away and all I hear is the breathing of me and Peeta in the closed bakery alone.

I look up at him. He's exhausted. The episode was one of the worst ones I've seen and it's obviously taken its toll. I place my palm on his cheek.

"Let's go home. You look exhausted. You need some sleep." Peeta leans into my touch.

"Why are you still here? I'm horrible and I say mean things to you."

"Peeta you are not horrible and you only say mean things to me when you aren't even you, so that doesn't count. Now to answer your question, I'm here because I care about you. You asked me to help you with the bakery a long time ago and I intend to keep my promise to help you. Plus I want to be here. I'm happy, or as close as too happy as I can get, here." I grab his hand and entwine my fingers with his. "Now let's go home and straight to bed. We have to get up early tomorrow to clean the bakery, and don't say you could stay up and work because you know just as well as I do that you is exhausted, and so am I." I pull Peeta behind me to the back door. I pull our coats off the rack and hand Peeta his, he puts it on without a word. I pull on my jacket and turn out the lights as I walk out the door and then lock it with a very sleepy Peeta in tow.

When we get home I walk Peeta up the stairs and give him clothes to change into. I walk into the bathroom to change into my night clothes and stop to look at the patchwork of my skin.

As I look at my skin I can't help but think of one of the quilted blankets that mother made for Prim and I when we were kids. The only difference being that mother didn't make this for me and that it's made of lab-grown skin and my flesh and not old t-shirts and pillow cases.

I put on my sleep clothes quickly so I don't have to see my ugly scars anymore. I brush my teeth and wash my face before I walk into the room to find a sleeping Peeta.

I smile. He looks so peaceful when he sleeps.

Slide in next to him and cuddle up to him the best I can without disrupting him or hitting myself in the face with my cast.

"Goodnight Peeta." I whisper to him as sleep pulls me under.

***Nightmare***

**I stand in the middle of the meadow, but his isn't my meadow. This meadow is all dirt and there are no flowers or grass or bushes, just barren earth. I can see District 12 in the distance, it's burnt out and all grey. I look to the forest and all I see is shadows.**

**Shadows of the trees that are supposed to be there and some other shadows I can't quite place yet.**

**The sky is a dark mahogany color and either the moon or the sun is hanging low in the sky, but instead of being either white or yellow it is blood red and seems to be dying.**

**I look down to my feet and see that all around me are scattered bones and bodies in different stages of decomposition.**

**I hear a** _**CRUNCH CRUNCH** _ **of bones breaking under someone's feet. I look towards the sound and see Peeta. He walks up to me, in his arms is a small figure. He hands the small figure to me. It's the little girl in the lemon yellow jacket from the capitol that was killed simply because of where she lived. The girl opened her eyes and leaped out of my arms.**

**She stands at the edge of the forest and starts to beckon who or whatever is in there to come out. I watch in horror as thousands of people, if they could be called that, walk out of the forest and come towards me and Peeta. I guess the best way to describe them would be to call them zombies. They don't moan or shriek or even walk with their arms outstretched. They just walk forward with a porpoise.**

**Peeta moves out of the way and I try to move as well, but can't move. The little girl in the jacket comes face to face with me and she slowly goes from the youthful face that she once was and into one that has started to decompose and rot.**

"Katniss. Katniss wake up." Peeta shakes me. Concern lining his voice. Once he sees that my eyes are open and I'm awake he pulls me into an embrace. I cry into his shirt for the little girl who was small and innocent who didn't get to live her life. "Shh. It's okay, it was just a dream. It's okay."

"It was so real though." I sob into Peeta's chest.

"I know. Not-real, not-real." Peeta holds me until I calm down. "Are we good?" I nod my head, not trusting my moth to words. "Good, now let's try to get some sleep before we have to go to the bakery, okay?" I nod again and snuggle up too Peeta.

His familiar sent of cinnamon and dill, as well as the smell of cheap aftershave sooth me.

I fall back asleep to the sound of Peeta's beating heart telling me that he is alive and that means so am I.


	9. Birthday Part One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> all of the characters, settings and other recognizable things belong to Suzanne Collins. not me.

I wake up the next morning and see Peeta is no longer there lying beside me, but this time I don't freak out, I know where he is once I smell the air: he's in my kitchen. I sit up groggily and stretch out my sleepy limbs. I get dressed in a short sleeved green t-shirt and put on a pair of black yoga capris. I walk into the bathroom and brush the tangles out of my hair and re-braid it. Today I get my cast off an will be able to walk without crutches. Just as I finish brushing my teeth, the phone rings. I grab the phone and answer with a simple 'hello'.

"Hi Katniss."

"Mom?" I ask uncertainly into the phone.

"Yes, I just wanted to call to wish you a happy birthday. I'm sorry that I couldn't make it out to twelve to see you." My mom answers. Wait, it's my birthday? I look over to the small calendar on the bedside table and sure enough today is May 8th.

"Thanks mom. Don't worry about it. I'm not doing anything special anyways."

"You forgot didn't you?" she says in a flat tone.

"Pfft. I didn't forget my own birthday." I say lamely.

"Katniss, you never were a good liar." I can practically hear the smile in her voice.

"Fine, I forgot okay? I don't look at the calendar very often." I hear her laugh.

"What's new with you?" she asks after she calms down from laughing.

"Remember how I said that I have a couple cast from falling out of a tree?"

"Yeah."

"Well I'm getting them off today. I'm going at two today." I pause. "I miss you mom." I really do. Even if she wasn't there for most of my life, I don't hate her anymore. She has really tried hard for the past 3 years; not only for me, but for Prim, especially when I was in the games. Gale helped, but it was mom who was really there for her; to hold her and comfort her while I was injured or when I was sad after Rue died. Mom was there to tell her that I would be alright; that I would keep my promise to her to come back home; to not die. To me, that's the greatest apology I could ever ask for: to make sure Prim was safe and sound.

"When are you going to come out to see me? To see Annie? Finn is a real cutie. He loves the water, but there's no surprise there." She pauses and I hear a commotion in the background. She must be at the hospital, but then I hear her say something about 'the door is open'. "Sorry, Annie just arrived. She wants to talk to you. Is that okay?"

"Yes, definitely."

Another pause, then: "Hey Katniss! Happy birthday." In Annie's high pitched voice.

"Hi Annie. Thank-you." I say back.

"My birthday is coming up and I would really like it if you came over." Annie says. I can hear the hopefulness in her voice.

"When is it?"

Annie squeals into the phone in excitement and happiness. "May 23rd. Are you free? It's a Friday I think."

I peak at the calendar: empty. I huff. Why not? I get to see Annie; we've never been close, but maybe - just maybe – we'll be able to have a great long friendship, I'll also get to see little Finn and my mother who I haven't seen since I was in 13 which has been just over a year ago.

"I am free. In fact I think Peeta and Haymitch are too."

Annie squeals into the phone again and says: "I can't wait Katniss! It'll be so much fun! If you want we could also celebrate your birthday too, seeing as how you forgot." She says the last part in a mocking tone. I roll my eyes and silently curse my stupid memory and my mother's loud mouth.

"That's okay Annie. I'm sure even if I did remember I wouldn't do anything."

Annie laughs and then sighs. "It's good to talk to someone again other than your mom, my mom and Finn."

"It's good to talk to you too, Annie."

There's another commotion in the background and someone calling out Finn's name. "Sorry Katniss, I gotta go." Annie says and then hangs up the phone. Then press the 'end' button and set the phone on the charger.

I head downstairs to see Peeta sitting down at the table in front of a glass of orange juice and plate of bacon and eggs. He looks up from his plate when I enter.

"You know what day it is today don't you?" he asks playfully.

"Yeah, today is the day I get my cast off and can start hunting again." I state stubbornly not mentioning my birthday.

"Yes, but do you know the date?"

"Yes, May 8th. I think its Thursday, but I could be wrong. I feel like I'm forgetting something important, but I'm not sure what is could be." I answer with a smirk on my face still not mentioning my birthday.

Peeta sighs in defeat and bands his head in the table playfully. "Katniss it's your eighteenth birthday today." Peeta looks at me waiting for some sort of huge recognition, but I just double over with laughter.

I must look absolutely insane. Here I am laughing in my kitchen because…well I don't even know why. I think that's what makes it even worse; the fact that I don't know why I'm laughing.

"Peeta I know it's my birthday." I say once I catch my breath. "I was just pullin' your leg." **(A/N: No pun intended)** He looks at me one eyebrow raised, smile tugging at his mouth and completely still, just looking at me. Probably determining how insane I've gone, and then starts laughing, I join in only to be interrupted by Haymitch barging into the kitchen.

Once he sees us laughing in the kitchen we try to gain composure.

"What are you two all happy about?" Haymitch asks.

"I thought Katniss legit forgot it was her birthday than going completely insane and made a really bad pun without realizing it." Peeta says holding his ribs, probably from all the laughing. Wait, I made a pun? When?

" _Peeta I know it's my birthday." I say once I catch my breath. "I was just pullin' your leg._ Oh. I see it now. Just pullin' your leg, Peeta only has one leg, I see it now. That is not a very nice thing to say.

"Good. Just makin' sure. I haven't seen you guys in a while; I thought you killed each other." Haymitch says looking suspiciously between us.

"Haymitch I know you're going through manopause and that it makes you really emotional, but you need to know that we are very stable people okay?" Peeta says putting a hand on Haymitch's shoulder a smile tugging at his mouth.

Haymitch shrugs off Peeta's hand with a scowl on his face.

"Haymitch I'm happy that you came to check on us. Very thoughtful. Thank-you. Would you like to come over for dinner tonight?" I ask breaking u the war Peeta and Haymitch were having with their eyes.

He smiles. "I would love to, thanks sweetheart." He turns around with a start and walks out the door then turns his head and says somewhat wistful: "Happy eighteenth birthday." then closes the door behind him.

"He really loves us, he just won't say it." Peeta states as he walks up behind me and puts his arm around my waist.

"Yeah, and we love him, but won't say it either." I say back looking into his eyes. He leans down to kiss me. When we come back up, our foreheads touching he says:

"Happy birthday, Katniss."

* * *

After we ate breakfast we walked down to the still in building town. When we got to the bakery Peeta pulled me into a hug and kissed my head.

"Don't get hurt okay?" Peeta says looking into my eyes and holding my shoulders.

"I won't, I promise." I say placing my palm in his cheek and rubbing his cheekbone with my thumb.

He nods and breaks eye contact pulling me into another hug. This will be the first day since I broke my wrist and my leg that we haven't spent all day together and Peeta's worried about me.

_Things that can produce an episode:_

_Tracker Jackers/Wasps/Hornets_

_Needles_

_Blood_

_Pain_

_**Anxiety/Fear** _

_Dogs/Mutts_

_Gale_

Anxiety and/or fear will set him off. No one knows how to calm him down other than me and Haymitch. I don't want to scare any of Peeta's two employees or his customers.

"Peeta I'll be fine, calm down. I don't want you to have an episode." I say.

Peeta closed his eyes, took a deep breath and counted to ten. When he opened his eyes he looked a lot calmer.

"Better?"

"Better." He nods again. "Better." He says quieter, more to himself than to me.

"Okay, have a good day at work. I'll come see you after."

He nods again. "Thanks, you too." He smiles and heads into the bakery.

I walk down the street and receive little stares, but I still feel eyes on me. Then I hear the unmistakeable click of a camera.

I turn around to look in the direction of the click and see nothing. Confusion takes over me. I'm sure I heard a click. I look around again and see nothing. I guess I was just hearing things. Oh well, whoever said I was sane?

I turn back around in the direction I was on warily, still not convinced that I was hearing things.

* * *

"Well Miss Everdeen you are free to go. How do you feel?" Dr. McKee asks in that kind way doctors always do.

"I feel great." I say as I scratch my wrist.

"It might be just a little hard to use your hand and leg for a bit because your muscle is atrophied, but things will get better." He smiles a kind smile. "When you get home you'll want to start alternating gentle movement exercises and periods of rest for your limb right away. Be sure not to overtax your limb, though. Remember that your muscles will be smaller and less effective than they used to be for at least a couple of weeks. We need to set up a follow up date so I can determine when you can start hunting again."

"What? I thought I would be able to hunt right away."

He laughs, "Most people do think that once the cast comes off that you can just go on to do what you would normally do, but it takes a bit for the muscle to recuperate." I remember my mom saying something like this once.

"When do you think I could start to hunt again?" I ask, hoping with all my heart that it will be soon.

"Anywhere between eight to twelve weeks. I know that's long, but you can still help Peeta in the new Bakery and Café." He pauses. "You won't need therapy. If you feel any pain or you just think that something just isn't right, call me here at the hospital and I'll get you in as soon as possible. Try not to fall on your wrist or your leg because the bone is very fragile and I'm sure since you're waiting at least another eight weeks I'm sure you don't want to wait another."

"No I don't." He sticks his hand out to me and I shake his hand. As I stand up from the small hospital bed I was sitting on, I wobble slightly.

"Thanks Dr. McKee." I say almost out the door slowly walking as to not fall down.

"No problem Katniss." Dr. McKee says.

* * *

The small bell over the door dings as I walk into the bakery.

"Hello and Welco-" Peeta gets cut off as I walk in. I smile a half smile and open my arms as if saying 'I'm here'. Peeta walks over to me and smiles. "You look so different without the casts."

I snort a laugh. "Yeah, it feels different too." Peeta laughs. I glance at the small clock in the bakery: 2:45pm. I was in the hospital for almost 4 hours today.

After I tell Peeta all about m appointment, we get to work. Me at the till and Peeta in the back baking away.

At 5:30pm I decide to go home to start on dinner. Greasy Sae taught me one of her soup recipes and I want to try it out.

As I'm walking past a news stand I see me on one of the magazine covers. The headline reads: MOKINGJAY GET IN A FIGHT OR BUILDING ACCIDENT? It's the picture I heard get taken this morning, the one with me walking to the hospital to get my casts off.

"None of the above, you stupid paparazzi. I fell out of a tree." I say to the magazine. I roll my eyes and put the magazine back on the stand. I walk away shaking my head.

Now I have two things to call Plutarch about.


	10. Birthday Part Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own this world.

I throw open the door, it crashes against the wall, pictures rattle and one almost falls, but I don't care because I'm really pissed for multiple reasons. 1. A freakin' paparazzi took my picture and now I'm gonna get a million people asking questions. 2. I actually have to talk to Plutarch for longer than I did this morning. 3. Plutarch probably won't let me leave unless I do an interview and I don't want to.

As I slam the door shut and the pictures rattle again, I stomp to the phone sitting on the small table by the door where we put all our mail and the phone and dial the numbers I know better than I would like, angrily into the phone.

After three rings I hear Plutarch answers his phone, but before he gets to say more than Plu- I interrupt and say:

"Plutarch I swear to god that if you say one more word I will come to the capitol myself and flick you in the ear." I don't want to sound like the crazy murderous victor that left the capitol almost five months ago, so I have to say something that doesn't sound bad…or hurtful.

He shuts up. "Thank-you. Now let me speak. You know that I fell out of a tree two months ago because Dr. Aurelius told you. Today I found a magazine with none other than Katniss Everdeen on the cover. I thought that we had an agreement, that you would leave Peeta and me alone if we did an interview on Remembrance Day _**(A/N: Yes it will be Nov.11, in case you were wondering.)**_. This sure doesn't look like leaving us alone."

"Katniss I'm sorry, that wasn't supposed to be published. I deleted it as soon as it came in I promise. I wouldn't try to discourage you. Someone must have come into my office and sent it to the publishing people. Next time I will make sure I delete it forever and not have it sitting in my 'deleted files' file."

I sigh into the phone. I'm not going to get anything better than this.

"Thank-you Plutarch." I apologize, my voice a lot calmer now, no not calm more like exhausted. "I have one more thing. I was wondering if I could go to district four. You know my mom lives there and she wants me to come out. I was only there once, but I didn't have much time to explore and enjoy the sights because I was there only for the Victory Tour and was trying to devise a plan that would most likely mot get Haymitch, Peeta and I or anyone else, killed. Also it's Annie and Finn's birthday. Mine was today so we were planning a party for the three of us plus I'm sure the other victors."

"Is that safe? Victors in the same room I mean." Plutarch asks sounding amused.

"Well not entirely." I say a slight laugh lining my voice.

Plutarch chuckles at my response. "Okay, you can go. I just have to fill out a few papers. You'll have the whole rest of the month if you'd like. I would like you to do an interview over the phone though tonight at about 7:30."

I sigh. "Fine."

"Happy Birthday Katniss. Have a nice night and I will be calling back at about 7:15."

I nod than realize that he can't see me so I say: "'Kay, I'll talk to you then." Then hang up the phone.

000

Peeta made dinner that night and Haymitch came over, eating most of it. Peeta was trying really hard to maintain a conversation, but Haymitch was far too busy shovelling food in his face to pay any attention to Peeta, and I was trying really hard to figure out how to tell them both about going to district four.

"Okay Katniss I know you're hiding something, spill it." Peeta says after his last question went unanswered. Haymitch looked up and stopped stuffing his face to look at me.

"Damn it Peeta, why must you know me so well?" I ask as I look at him.

"Because, Katniss, I am a boss." Peeta says with a smile adorning his face.

"No, he knows you so well because he's a super creeper parson who stalked you for like five, six years." Haymitch adds with a mouthful of food.

"Shut up Haymitch!" Peeta says looking over to Haymitch with his eyes widened and his ears turning red. "That's not the point. The point is that Katniss is not telling us something."

Haymitch swallows his food and says: "So Katniss doesn't tell us a lot of things. She doesn't tell us when she's PMS-ing does she?"

"HAYMITCH!" Peeta and I say simultaneously.

"What, I'm just speaking the truth here?" Haymitch says putting his hands up in mock-surrender.

"Katniss will you just tell us already?" Peeta asked impatiently.

"Fine, I have two things." I take a deep breath. "Mom called this morning to wish me a happy birthday and told me all about little Finn. Annie's birthday is coming up too and she asked if I would come out to district four and I said I would come if I could get Plutarch to let me and I also might have said that you two were free as well and are willing to come. So I called Plutarch when I got home and that leads to my part two of this little story.

"So on my way home from the bakery I came across a magazine with me on the cover with my casts on still and the headline reading 'MOCKINGJAY GET IN A FIGHT OR BUILDING ACCEDENT'. So, I with my short temper, freaked out and freaked out at Plutarch for letting it through and he said that he deleted it once he got it and someone must have hacked into his account and put it through.

"so because I decided to kill the wrong president and am not really allowed to leave district twelve without permission from the capitol I had to call. So I made a deal with Plutarch that if I have an interview over the phone at 7:30 I can go to district four. We have the whole month so I've decided we're going to leave on the eighteenth." Both Peeta and Haymitch have their mouths agape. Peeta regains his composure first.

"You went through all that trouble just to go to district four?"

"Yeah." I say nodding. Haymitch still hasn't picked up his jaw off the floor. "Haymitch, close your mouth, you'll catch flies." At this he snaps his jaw closed and scowls at me.

"So we just pack up and leave? For how long do you think we are going to stay?" Haymitch finally says after a long moment of silence.

"Two weeks maybe. I want to see everything. It will be nice to see my mom and to see Annie. Plus she could use some help I'm sure." I answer. At the prospect of helping with a small child reminds me of helping mom with Prim when she was little. Usually the thought of my little sister would bring tears to my eyes, but it doesn't. Instead it brings a smile remembering how she used to giggle if you tickled just above her hip, but below her armpit or how she used to love everything and was always so caring of the small flowers on the weeds or the small delicate and intricate lace work on my mother's dresses. She was always so particular about everything. She put her little spin on everything and everyone she touched. She was like a beam of sunshine on a cloudy day. Everyone loved her.

"I guess I could find someone to run the bakery while I'm gone." Peeta states distractedly. He's studying me. Gauging my reaction. He knows me all too well. He knows that whenever I think abo tittle children I think about Prim and he looks relieved to see that I haven't broken down into tears on the floor yet. Maybe I am getting better.

"That's creepy." Haymitch says looking between Peeta and me.

I wold never know what was so creepy because at that moment in time the phone rang and I knew immediately that it was Plutarch.


	11. Birthday Part Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> nothing is owned

"Hello Katniss. You're going to be on in less than half an hour. Are you ready?" Plutarch asks me once I answer the phone.

"Yeah, I guess." _No, I'm definitely not ready._

"Good, good. Just hold until we're ready for you."

"Okay." I hear a dial tone that indicates that I have been put on hold.

Peeta comes to stand beside me and grabs my hand. I look at him gratefully. Even though he isn't talking, he's here, even though he isn't the one that has to do the interview, he's here.

Haymitch stumbles in front of me and asks: "So, sweetheart, what are you going to say?" _Aint that the million dollar question?_

"I have no idea. I was thinking just to wing it. Answer their questions truthfully. You know because I don't have a knife hanging over mine and my family's heads anymore, metaphorically I mean." I say, still holding the phone to my ear.

Haymitch smirks. "Good one sweetheart." I roll my eyes and lean my head against the wall and close my eyes, listening to the annoyingly loud and repetitive beeping of the dial tone.

Peeta rubs small and soothing circles on my hands.

All I want to do right now is to go to bed. Wait—why am I tired? I slept in today. I didn't do anything remotely taxing. Well, nothing more taxing than I already do every day.

Focus Katniss, focus. What are you going to say if they ask you if you and Peeta are together? The truth obviously. What about if they ask about marriage? Well obviously I'll tell them that was a sham and get on with my life…that might not work out.

"Peeta, what do I tell them if they ask about our marriage?" I ask, opening my eyes. His eyes widen.

"I don't know. If we tell them it was a sham, they'll never trust us again and you don't want to lie." Peeta says furrowing her brow.

"They probably already know. Plutarch isn't really that good at keeping secretes. Once someone asked him about it, I'm sure he spilled the beans." Haymitch says, looking unfazed.

"You've a point." Peeta says smiling. I nod, relax and go back into my own head.

I should put the phone on speaker so that Haymitch and Peeta could listen. No they might say something to make Peeta go into an episode, but they deserve to hear. Yeah, I think they deserve that much. They went through just as much as I did if not more…definitely more.

I chuckle lightly. Peeta and Haymitch look at me like I've lost it again.

"What's so funny?" Peeta asks a soft smile on his face.

"Oh, nothing." I look down at my hands still smiling. I put the phone on speaker just as Plutarch comes back on and says:

"Okay, Katniss. You're on in five."

I roll my eyes. "Okay Plutarch."

Five minutes later I hear Cesar Flickerman introduce me to the crowd. Peeta reaches for my hand under the table.

"Katniss, darling, how are you?"

"Fine I guess?" I answer.

"Great. What's going on in District 12?"

"Well, re-building is going great and more and more people are coming back home from district 13. We even have some new citizens from all over the place, mostly district 13 though. The mines aren't open yet, but we've found other things to do."

"That's great Katniss." You can tell Cesar doesn't care though. "Tell us, what happened to your arm and your leg?"

I roll my eyes even though I know he can't see me.

"Believe it or not I fell out of a tree." I hear the audience laugh.

"Katniss Everdeen fell out of a tree. Katniss, tell us how in the world did you manage to fall out of that tree? You practically live in them."

I contemplate telling them the truth.

"Katniss you don't have to lie to them anymore Katniss. Show them how broken you are." Haymitch whispers.

I take a deep breath. _I'm not that broken._

"Well, it's actually quite easy to fall out of one when you're exhausted from waking up every hour from nightmares."

The line is silent. _They weren't expecting that._

"You see this was the case with me, and I'm sure this is the case for many others." I continued. "I had decided to go on a morning hunt for the first time since before I killed Coin and while I waited for game to cross my under my tree, I fell asleep. I woke up from a terrible nightmare and in my dazed stated I continued to thrash about when I kicked the tree so hard I shattered my shin bone. Then I broke my fall with my wrist. Not only did I break my wrist and my shin, but I also broke a few ribs."

Still silence.

"But I assure you I'm good as new now and hoping to get back into the swing of things soon."

More silence.

Peeta and Haymitch are trying to suppress laughter. Haymitch fails and soon after Peeta does as well, both of them having to leave to calm themselves down.

"Well Katniss that is quite the story." Cesar says.

"Really, you find that amazing? I know plenty more people that could give you so many better stories than I can."

Now I'm trying to suppress laughter.

I can practically see Plutarch scurrying around getting Cesar to get me to stop talking.

"Well, Katniss, it seems we're out of time. Thank-you for joining us tonight."

"Bye guys." I hang up then burst out laughing.

"Way to be blunt Katniss, way to be blunt." Peeta yells from the kitchen still laughing.

"Blame it all on Haymitch, he's the one who told me to tell the truth." I say walking into the kitchen to join the guys. "Sometimes the truth hurts."

We all burst into another fit of laughter.


	12. District Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own anything.

I take a deep breath as I step onto the train for the first time since the Quell.

Peeta has taken my hand hostage in his as we board the train. Haymitch follows close behind.

_Things that can produce an episode:_

_Tracker Jackers/Wasps/Hornets_

_Needles_

_Blood_

_Pain_

_**Anxiety/Fear** _

_Dogs/Mutts_

_Gale_

I'm worried about Peeta. I'm not sure what the train could do to him, and I'm so hoping that it's not something bad. For me a train ride is full of anxiety and fear. He seems fine though.

We're off to District four.

Haymitch sobered up just for this trip and I haven't had a nightmare for, oh well, since the night before the night before the interview. Peeta hasn't had an episode since the Grand Opening of the Bakery because Gale decided to grace us all with his presence (note sarcasm).

I called Annie this morning and she was quite pleased to hear from me:

" _Hey Annie?" I speak into the phone._

" _Katniss?" Annie squeaks._

" _Yeah. I called to tell you that we're gonna be there by like five-ish." I say._

" _I can't wait to see you guys. Your mom, too." I hear the smile in her voice. She's so happy. That makes me happy. "I invited Johanna and Beete as well. I hope you guys don't mind. I thought I'd bring us all together."_

" _Did you invite Gale?" I ask somewhat wary._

" _No, why?" she pauses then quickly adds: "Is it because of Prim?" she says the last part softy._

" _No, it wasn't really his fault. It's like, if someone dies because they were shot, do you blame the person who invented the gun or the person who shot it?" I hear her agree softly. "It's because he causes episodes for Peeta, and because we've changed far too much for me and him to ever be friends again. I'm too soft and he's too brutal. We just don't work."_

" _I see." She says this somberly, then: "Well, I'm just excited for all my closest friends to be together again. Plus, I don't think Beete will be around for much longer. He's pretty old and he's gone through quite a lot."_

" _We all have, Annie. We all have."_

" _I know." The happiness drained from her voice. "By the way, your interview was hilarious. I don't usually watch that channel, but Finn got a hold of the clicker and he changed the channel to that one. Once I heard your voice I took the clicker from him, he wasn't too pleased, but I suppose you said something he liked because he stopped fussing."_

" _It might've been the bright capitol colors on the screen that calmed him."_

" _Yeah you might be right." She pauses. "I gotta go, Finns crying. See you around five."_

" _Yeah. Bye."_

" _Bye."_

Because it's mine and Annie's birthdays I bought made her a nice pair of rabbit skin mittens. I don't know if District four has a winter like ours, but they're nice. I also made a matching pair for Finn. I also made some dream captures, one for both of them with the extra leather from the gloves and soft downy feathers from Haymitch's geese.

Peeta drew a pastel drawing of Finnick fishing with his trident, he even framed it himself. He also drew a black and white sketch of Annie and Finnick on their wedding day. Peeta also framed that one. Peeta made me something, but won't tell me what.

Haymitch got her a beautifully knit blanket. I can tell it's old. It had patches and a few holes, but it looks warm and clean. When I asked who's it was he said it was his as a boy and that it kept him safe and dry through the coldest of winters in the seam.

I hugged him after that. It was so sweet and sentimental.

As the train starts to move, I place my head onto Peeta's shoulder. We watch district twelve disappear into the horizon through the window.

* * *

The next thing I know I'm being shook awake by Peeta telling me we've arrived in district four.

I stand up drowsily and collect my bag from the overhead compartment.

Once off the train, I'm attacked by a short woman with red hair—Annie—and my mom.

"Hey guys. Long-time-no-see." I laugh.

"Hi!" Annie says excitedly, little Finn in her arms.

"Hey honey." My mom adds.

I look at Finn who is looking at me wearily.

"Look at you, Finn. You've gotten so big." He smiles. "The last time I saw you, you were in your mommy's tummy." I poke him in the stomach. He giggles cute little baby giggles. I smile and come back to my full height. I didn't even notice that I bent down.

Peeta's smiling wistfully at me, Haymitch and my mother proud and Annie just happy.

I _am_ getting better than.

* * *

When we reach Annie's we all settle in. Her house is much like mine except instead of grey, white and black; hers is aqua blue, white and a sandy yellow color.

She has pictures of her and Finnick all over the walls, a few of baby Finn, but because he's so young there're only a few.

In one corner there is Finnick's trident and a net, possibly woven by Finnick himself.

Her house backs onto a beautiful beach.

It's currently sunset and I'm sitting on the back porch watching the beautiful oranges, pinks, blues, purples and reds. The sun reflects beautifully off the ocean district four is truly known for.

I feel a warm hand on my shoulder and look up to see Peeta standing looking out at the water.

"It's so pretty, isn't it?" I ask.

"Yeah." He pauses. "This is my-"

"-favorite color." I finish. "You told me on the victory tour."

He smiles. "And you told me just before we stormed the Capitol."

"Real." We say at the same time. We laugh.

"Dinner's ready." Annie calls.

Peeta helps me up and we walk hand in hand to the dinner table.

This was the best idea I've ever had.


	13. Fun, Wood and Liquor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I own nothing.

Annie put me and Peeta in the same room. My mom was weary at first, but soon relented because she honestly didn't want to be the one to deal with a screaming, grumpy Katniss. I don't blame her. I wouldn't want to deal with me either.

Peeta and I were face to face lying like we usually do, hands clasped between us, noses only a few inches apart.

Peeta looks deep in thought. That is really unusual for him, so I ask what's on his mind. Big mistake.

"Have you ever thought about having kids?" Peeta asks quite bluntly.

_Did he just seriously ask me that?_

Well he caught me off guard.

"Um…uh…er…uh…um…no…yes…maybe…I don't know." I stumble over my words.

"I just thought that because you were so great with Finn that you maybe wanted to have one of your own someday. I mean, if you don't that's okay, but I just was wondering."

"Peeta I practically raised Prim and we all know how well that ended, same with Rue. I take care of someone and they die. I would mess up the poor kid's life if I ever became a mother. The kid would either hate me and run away or would love me and die. And therefore either way they would leave me. I don't think my poor brain can handle any more abandonment or death." I don't realize I'm crying until I feel Peeta wipe away the salty tears.

"No, Katniss. You would be the greatest mother. He way to treated inn proved it. I see you talk to the young kids just starting school, telling them how much fun they'll have. I see the way you smile slightly when you see a mother and her child come into the bakery or just plain walking in the street. You love kids and kids love you. You are just too darn stubborn to admit it."

I huff. "Peeta, I don't know if I could handle a little person running around. Not yet at least. Not any time soon or in the near future. I'm just not ready."

"Okay." He relents dropping the subject.

He kisses me on the nose and closes his eyes muttering a 'Goodnight Katniss' under his breath.

* * *

I wake to the sound of a door bell ringing and a baby screaming. On the bright side, at least I didn't wake up screaming from a nightmare.

I groan and start to roll out of bed when I hit a solid chest.

Peeta.

He still hasn't woken up yet, but I can tell he's not far from it.

I kiss him on the cheek and go downstairs. The ringing continues, more persistent this time.

I open the door to see Johanna in all her brown hair, brown eyed glory.

"Hey, brainless. Long-time-no-see. How you been? You look like crap." Johanna smirks.

"I'm great-ish, and thanks for stating the obvious. I just woke up to your ever persistent door bell ringing and little Finn crying."

"Was that you ringing that doorbell?" Peeta asked walking down the stairs shirtless, pajama pants hanging low on his hips. I catch myself staring at his defined abs. Light golden hair trails down from his navel to under his pants. His pale golden skin practically glows in the morning sunrise, his scars barely noticeable. My breathing hitches. God, I never noticed how hot Peeta was.

"No it was the gremlin that lives down the street. Of course it was me. Jeeze, you're more brainless than Katniss." Johanna smiles knowingly at me, I just scowl.

"C'mon guys, breakfast." Annie calls from the kitchen.

We sit down at the table, Peeta beside me and Annie and Johanna across from me. My mom and Finn are probably upstairs.

Breakfast goes swimmingly…until Johanna decides to start making jokes.

"Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?" Johanna starts.

"Why?" Peeta asks.

"Because he didn't have the guts to do it." _Bu dun ch._

"What do you call a thousand blonds lined up in a row?"

"What?" Annie asked.

"A wind tunnel."

"Ha, ha, ha." I fake laugh. Johanna scowls at me and continues:

"Why was the blond fired from the M&M's factory?"

"Why?" I asks, bored.

"Because she kept throwing the W's away."

"I find this extremely insulting." Peeta comments from beside me.

Johanna ignores him continuing on to another bad joke:

"What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?"

"Why?" all three of us said at the same time

"Nothing. He just made a little 'whine'."

Annie and I laughed a little. "Okay, that one was good."

"The last joke, you ready?" Johanna asks. All three of us nod. "What do you do if a hot gay guy is following you?"

"What?" I asked, a smile already playing at my lips.

"Grab your straightener." All three of us burst out laughing.

"That one was great, Jo." Peeta says, wiping tears away from his face.

"I know, I try."

* * *

Soon after breakfast, Haymitch made an appearance.

"Nice of you to join us." I say sarcastically.

"Peeta, get dressed and come with me." he says ignoring me.

"Why?" Peeta questions.

"Because I said. Hurry." Haymitch says.

"Better go get dressed Peeta. You got a hot date with Haymitch." Johanna calls from the kitchen where she helps Annie do the dishes.

Peeta sighs and starts up the stairs.

"I suppose I do, don't I?" he mutters. I stifle a laugh.

When Peeta comes down stairs he wears a white t-shirt and a pair of light blue and white checkered swim shorts, a pair of flip-flops on his feet. Aviator glasses hang from the neck of his shirt.

"Ready, lover boy?" Haymitch asks.

"Shut up Haymitch." Peeta says and brushes passed him putting on his glasses in the process. "Bye, be back soon."

"Maybe." Haymitch adds.

I really don't want to know where they're going.

* * *

**Peeta POV:**

I jump into the driver's seat of the blue convertible Annie lent us.

"Where're we going?" I ask once I get the motor running.

"You are driving me to and from the liquor store." Haymitch says buckling his seatbelt.

I sigh. "Didn't you promise go sober?"

"Liquor's not for me lover boy, it's for Katniss' birthday."

"You're getting Katniss liquor?" I raise one eyebrow.

"Yup." He says popping the 'p'.

"Why can't you drive yourself?"

"Because I'm old and I'm tired, and because I can barely see without my glasses. I left them in District 12."

I sigh again and then I drive the car towards the liquor store.

* * *

**Katniss POV:**

To say I was suspicious when Haymitch asked Peeta to go with him was an understatement. But when they came back with one bag with a 1 liter bottle in it, made me even more suspicious.

When they got back Peeta high tailed it out of the room.

Uh oh.

"Where'd you guys go?" Annie asks bouncing Finn on her lap.

"Oh, no place special. Just some guy time, you know." Haymitch says sitting down on the couch.

' _Guy time' my ass._

* * *

Beete showed up around noon, only a couple hours after Johanna.

The real party started at 3 o'clock.

A whole bunch of people showed up. A lot I didn't know, but it was fun none the less…kind of.

A lot of people came up to me and either was extremely star struck or told me that my recent interview was the most hilarious thing they had ever seen.

I am currently sitting on a couch watching Annie open her presents.

She got a lot of clothes and money. Not to mention a lot of things for Finn.

Annie grabs mine.

"Okay. This is from Katniss." Annie announces to the small crowd. Annie carefully unties the leather string holding the rabbit skin together that holds the gifts.

Once she sees the dream catchers her smile stretches so big I'm seriously concerned that her face will split in half.

"Oh, Katniss. They're so pretty." She holds up the dream catchers to get a better look and to show everyone else. "Thank-you, did you make them?"

"Yeah, the feathers are from Haymitch's geese. You're supposed to put them by your head to that the bad dreams that try to get to you get stuck or at least that's how the legend goes." I explain. My dad taught me how to make dream catchers and told me the legend. It seems legit enough.

She then pulls out the rabbit skin mittens.

"Katniss these are so soft. Did you make these too?" she asks trying one on.

"Yeah, their rabbit. They're really warm. I didn't know if you guys had a hard winter like in 12, but ii made them just as warm anyways."

She smiles. "Our winters are really cold and wet. The snow gets really heavy."

I laugh. "Good thing I made them water proof." She smiles.

When she got to Peeta's gift she let a few tears roll down her cheeks. She was so happy and touched that she attacked Peeta in a bear hug.

After Haymitch explained his gift she hugged him much like she hugged Peeta.

Beete got Annie a super high tech baby monitor.

Johanna got Annie a beautifully carved wooden rocking chair. I have not the slightest clue where she hid that thing. It is huge.

Many people asked me to make them dream catchers or if I could teach them how to make them. To each one I said I'd be here for two weeks.

After everyone left Johanna handed me a new bow and quiver filled with 24 arrows.

The bow was intricately carved with deer, rabbits, squirrels, bears, tracker jackers, trees and most of all, mockingjays. The bow was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.

"I don't know how to string a bow so you might have to fix it so you don't end up killing yourself." Johanna explains.

"Thank-you so much, Jo. Did you carve it?" I ask.

"Yeah, it took forever so you better use it." She smiles and hits me in the shoulder. "No problem brainless."

Annie hands me a box. I open it and inside is a pair of dark green rubber boots.

"Thanks Annie."

"No problem. I heard it rains a lot in the spring there." Annie explains.

"It really does."

Next was Haymitch. He handed me a long thin box, uh oh.

Haymitch has an evil grin on his face.

_Do I even want to know?_

I open the lid and inside is a bottle of vodka.

I mentally face palm.

Haymitch is laughing his ass off.

"Thanks…Haymitch. Real nice of you to get me some liquor." I throw the box at his head.

"No problem sweetheart." He ducks making the box miss his head. "This is just a prank. Your real gift is back in 12. I couldn't get it here on the train so I left it at home."

"It's all right Haymitch. Thank-you, it's the thought that counts anyway, right?" I say.

Beete hands me a black bag.

"It's a game bag. It has settings so you can keep the meat cold so it doesn't spoil before you sell and or trade it." Beete explains.

"It's so light, where's all the technology?" I ask searching the bag.

"It's microscopic. The little chips were woven into the fabric. Also the bag is water proof as to not destroy the microchips." Beete answers.

_Hum, pretty cool. I didn't know you could even do that._

My mom hands me a small package wrapped in cloth.

I carefully open the twine that holds it together.

Inside is the last picture of me and and Prim together inside a beautiful oak frame.

It was taken sometime in District 13, and you can tell.

Prim looks all grown up and I look weak and frail. The grey of my clothes match my aparent mood, but the grey looks lighter and happier on Prim. She radiates happiness and youth. She looks beautiful with the little she had, not unlike she's done for the past 12 years of her life. Well, what she used to do.

"Thank-you mom. It's beautiful." I say.

She just smiles. Her eyes wrinkling at the corners. Even mom is beautiful in her old age...okay, so she's not that old, but close enough.

Last but not least is Peeta.

He hands me a card in a forest green envelope, my favourite color.

I open the envelope and inside is a beautiful card, undeniably hand made by Peeta.

There are small sketches of us all the way from the first games all the way until now. In the middle are the words: "Happy Birthday Katniss: The Girl on Fire - Mockingjay"

I smile and open the card very carefully as to not wreck the pictures.

Inside is a small message: "Happy Birthday, Katniss. I'm treating you to a special belated birthday dinner. Dress nice. Xoxo, Peeta <3"

I laugh and look up to see Peeta gone.

_Where in the world did he go? He was here a second ago._


	14. Dinner

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> nothing is mine. not even those characters.

As soon as I put the card down after wondering where Peeta went, Johanna and Annie each grab one of my arms and drag me down the halls.

_I've been ambushed!_

Once in my room we start. One and a half hours later of makeup, hair and wardrobe, Johanna who was doing my makeup tells me to stand up and look in the floor length mirror hanging on the wall.

In the mirror there is a girl with brown hair up in a curly up-do with a few strands hanging loose. Her hair is pinned in place with bobby pins with small diamonds on them. Her hair glitters in the yellow light of the room.

She has the same features as me, but is ten times more beautiful than me. For her eye makeup: a navy blue smoky eye. Her long lashes coated in mascara. Her olive skin glitters like the skin of a goddess.

Her dress is a midnight blue that hugs her body until it gets to her waist; it flows to the ground like a waterfall at night. Every so often there are small diamond jewels that make the dress look like it really is a water fall at night reflecting the stars. It's only got one sleeve that hugs her arm to her wrist. The other arm is just as glittery as her face.

To think this beautiful woman is her would me a crime.

"That's you, Katniss." Johanna whispers.

"Thanks guys, I look beautiful." I say turning around, still not believing that she's me.

"Peeta's gonna love it." Annie says.

"Who made the dress, its beautiful." I ask.

"Cinna, Haymitch was over at your house with Peeta one day, cleaning out the basement when they came across a box of dresses that Cinna made. Haymitch knew about this so he brought it so that is you looked into Peeta's bag you wouldn't clue into the fact that they had something planned." Johanna says.

_Cinna made it. Well duh he made it, it looks perfect on me and it's way too beautiful for anyone else to have made it._

"Now hurry up, don't want to keep lover boy waiting now." Johanna says teasingly.

I smile and hug them both before going downstairs.

Once I step into the living room, my mom is the first one to see me.

She gasps and walks over to me.

"You're so beautiful Katniss." She whispers as she hugs me. I thank her. When she pulls away she wipes away a tear.

Haymitch stands up and smiles. "You look good sweetheart." He hugs me like a father would hug a daughter who he doesn't want to grow up, but can't do anything about it. I thank him.

"You little bugger you." I point at Haymitch. "You knew all about this. You guys are very sneaky."

Haymitch just smirks and shrugs.

Beetee smiles at me from his wheelchair. "Very beautiful, Katniss." I thank him.

"Lover boy's waiting, Katniss." Haymitch remarks.

"Bye everyone." I call as I open the door to the night. The full moon making my dress glitter like the waterfall I was designed after.

I hear a gasp and look over to the noise.

Peeta stands in a sharp suit.

"Damn, when Haymitch fond that dress I knew it was going to be pretty, but, damn girl." Peeta says teasingly, visibly checking me out.

I feel a warm blush creep onto my cheeks. "You two are very sneaky."

He smiles and kisses me on my cheek. "Beautiful." He whispers into me ear.

I melt into his embrace.

He leads me to a shiny silver convertible. Once he starts the car I ask where we're going.

"That's for me to know and for you to find out." He smirks at me before he twists to back out of the driveway.

The whole way to wherever we are going for dinner Peeta's leg was jumping up and down and his hands were gripping the steering wheel so hard that his knuckles turned white. He's nervous. Maybe because he's nervous that I'm not going to like the place we go, or is he hiding something else…

Once we got to the place (a nice restaurant) Peeta opened the door for me and helped me out. After making sure the doors were locked he led me into the restaurant with his arm around my waist.

When the hostess saw us she smiled and gestures for us to follow her like she sees famous people like us all the time. Maybe she does.

Peeta made a reservation in a dark corner of the restaurant where we won't be easily seen, which I'm thankful for. Not that I'm embarrassed to be seen with him or to be seen period, it's just I don't want people to stare or to make it easier for the press to take pictures.

Peeta pulls out my chair for me and then pushes it in like the gentleman he is.

He sits down his knee still bouncing nervously, and smiles.

"How do you like it?" he asks, sheepishly.

"I love it Peeta, thank-you." I smile with my words.

The candle light from the candle on the table lights up Peeta's face even more making as bright as the sun and just as beautiful.

He grabs my hand on top of the table and then opens his menu to choose what he wants to eat.

I follow shortly after.

A waitress named Janina takes our order.

Peeta and I share small talk.

When our food comes and Janina asks if we want anything else I say to Peeta:

"You know, this is our first real date." He smiles.

"I guess we did things a little backwards, eh?" his eyes twinkle in the candle light.

I smile back. "Yeah, we did." We both laugh.

We continue on eating and sharing small talk until Janina comes and takes our empty plates.

We share dessert and then after Peeta pays the bill (he insisted that it was the guys job to pay on the first, second, third, and all the rest or the dates after that. For that he got a playful scowl) and leaves a tip, his prosthetic leg starts acting up.

He kneels and starts digging in his pocket and produces a small black box, assumingly for extra tools. He looks up at me. He smiles and opens the box.

Inside is a bronze band that looks to be made of a bunch of little bronze vines clinging to the pearl that Peeta gave me on the beach in the Quell, the pearl that kept me sane some nights while in district 13, while Peeta was gone, mentally and physically.

"Will you Katniss Everdeen, marry me and make me the happiest man in the world?" Peeta says with the most beautiful smile I've ever seen.

_Wait, what? Rewind: "Will you Katniss Everdeen, marry me…?"_

…

…

…

I think I might faint…

No, I'll be alright.

With each passing second Peeta's smile falls just a little.

So this is what he was so nervous about.

 _Will_ I marry Peeta? Do I want to yet? Yes. I do. Am I ready to burden Peeta with me?

_Oh, shut up. You're not burdening him. He would have left by now if you were._

I smile. "Yeah, I will." I whisper and give him my left hand.

His smile brights up to over a million watts and slides the ring onto my ring finger.

He stands up and hugs me, picking me up off the ground and spinning me around like in old movies from the capitol.

He kisses me hard on the lips once I'm on two feet again. When he pulls back he opens his stunning blue eyes and says:

"Thank-you."

"Is your leg alright?" I ask, concerned.

He laughs. "Yeah, that was just a way to surprise you."

"Sneaky bastard." We both laugh.

"We walk out of the restaurant hand in hand.

The whole way back to Annie's I admired the perfect ring on my finger. How it fits me just right and how it symbolizes so much. It takes all my will power not to tackle Peeta right there and just hug him forever. He's just too perfect.


	15. Bliss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> nothing is owned

Once Peeta and I came into the living room, hand in hand, we were bombarded with questions.

"How was the date?" Johanna asked.

"Oh my goodness, Katniss! He proposed didn't he?" Annie squealed. Before I could answer, they started up again.

"My baby's growing up." My mom exclaimed placing a hand on her heart and looking at me from afar.

"Let's see, let's see, let's see." Johanna gushed. I handed them my hand and they both squealed at the same time. "Is this the pearl he gave to you on the Quell?"

"Yeah." I answered.

They squealed again. Haymitch was off to the side patting Peeta approvingly on the back. My mom was standing not far from them, still with her hand on her heart, but tears in her eyes along with a small smile. Beetee was nowhere to be found. He must have gone to bed.

"So, when's it gonna be? The wedding that is." Johanna asked.

"I don't know. Sometime next year maybe. But we're still not fully recovered so I just don't want to end up having a mental breakdown on my wedding day. That would suck majorly. I'm super excited though." I explain. I know Peeta hears by the way he sighs in my peripheral.

"Well. regardless of when you're having your wedding, we're planning your bachelorette party." Annie says smiling pointing to herself and Johanna.

With all the commotion, Finn woke up and proceeded to cry and wail like most babies do.

"I'll go get him." I say. Everyone looks at me funny like it was the last possible thing for me to say, but the thing is, is that it's true: it is the last possible thing I would normally say, but I'm missing Prim extra tonight and I'm getting married sometime soon. So to say the least I'm a little off.

I ignore their stares and go get Finn.

When I get to his blue-green, beach themed room and turn on the light he stops his relentless wailing.

When he sees me he smiles, remembering how I tickled him when we first arrived.

"Hey, Finn. Did we wake you up with our talking?" I ask him. He nods his head as I pick him up and put him on my hip. "Wanna go see mommy?" He nods again. "Okay, let's go then."

As I walk down the stairs in the dress that makes me look like a goddess and Finn on my hip I swear Peeta almost swoons. Once Finn sees Annie he thrusts out his arms towards her and des something no one thought he would do.

He talked...

"Mommy." Finn said.

Annie stares wide eyed a her son.

"Did he just—did he?" Her eyes roll to the back of her head and she faints. Johanna just manages to catch her.

"Mommy!" Finn says distraught at tea sight of his moth crumpling on the ground like a puppet who's strings have just been cut.

"It's okay Finn. Mommy's just tired. She's okay. Don't worry." I'm he first to recover from shock.

"Tired mommy?" Finn asks, his face a mask of confusion and disbelief.

"Yup. Mommy's just very tired." I say back.

Finn yawns. "Tired." Finn says laying his head in my shoulder. The kid is pretty tall for his age. He's almost one, I think he's like 9 months **(A/N: I know Finn should only be about 5-6 months right now, but for the benefit of my story he's 9 months).**

"Okay, buddy. Lets go back to bed." I say.

"No. Wait. Mommy." He grabs my dress.

"Okay." Just then Annie sits up.

"I'm okay. Did Finn really talk?" She asks as she sits in the ground.

"Yup." Peeta says.

"Oh, jeeze." Annie places a hand on her forehead. "He only said 'mommy', right?"

"No, he also said 'tired', 'no' and 'wait'." I add.

"Mommy." Finn stretches his arms out again.

I give him to Annie. "You scared mommy."

"Why?" Finn says.

My mom groans. We all look at her. "Once they start with the 'why' it never stops. Trust me. It gets really annoying."

"Why?" Finn asks again.

"Because baby, mommy wasn't expecting that. You're just like your father. Surprising me at the randomest times." Annie finishes with a small, sad smile.

Finn smiles back and hugs his 'mommy'. "Tired." He whispers into Annie's hair.

Annie takes Finn back to bed.

Shortly after she leaves I yawn.

"It's not just Finn who's tired." I yawn again. "G'night. I'm going to bed." I start up the stairs Peeta not far behind.

I take my hair out first then I wash off all the makeup. I turn on the hot water in the shower. I walk into the room. Peeta already in his pyjamas: a pair of grey sweats. I smile at him.

I walk over to the rack where we put the hanger. I grab the hanger. And walk back into the steaming bathroom.

_Crap, how am I gonna get out of this dress._

I walk back into the room.

"Peeta," I say shyly. "will you un zip this please?"

"Sure." Peeta blushes a little. My face is probably already as red a a tomato. "Okay, I'm done."

"Thanks, Peeta." I say my cheeks heating a just looking at him.

As I walk back to the bathroom all I can think is: _This is pathetic. He's my fiancé. I should not blush when he simply undoes my dress. My goodness._

I sigh and step into the hot spray, think about everything from how Finn talked to how I can now call Peeta my fiancé.

Fiancé: it's got a ring to it. **(A/N: AHAHAH)**

* * *

Once I finish in the sower I realize I forgot my pyjamas out on the bed. I'll have to walk out there in only my towel to get them. I look around the bathroom for my towel...no towel.

Crap.

I walk to the door open it a crack and say: "Peeta?"

"Yeah?" He answers.

"Can you get me my towel...and my pyjamas?"

"Sure." He says. Laughter in his voice. I shove my arm out the door and make sure he can't see me.

_Agh! This is again PATHETIC! I should not be like this around my fiancé. But because I'm such a prude I can't even get him to undo my dress without blushing._

Peeta places the stuff in my out stretched hand. "Thanks." I say taking my arm back and closing the door.

"No problem." He says through the door.

I dry off and then I put my pyjamas on: a baggy t-shirt and black sweats.

I quickly towel dry my hair, leaving it damp.

I grab the blue dress that Cinna made me from hanging on the towel rack. Once back in the room I put the dress on the rack that I got the hanger from. Peeta's tuxedo was hanging there already.

Peeta was sitting on the bed sketching. I sat next t him and looked over his shoulder. He was drawing me in my dress. The full moon behind me and stars every once in a while like they're following me.

I had put my ring back on. I didn't even notice until I looked at my hand. It's so comfortable. I love it. I love him.

I knew this a long time ago, but I just wouldn't let myself believe it. I think I might've been completely in love with him since the Quell, maybe before that.

I just keep thinking about kids. He wants them so bad, yet I really don't. I'm mostly afraid. Afraid that I'll mess up the kid...or the kids life. I'm afraid that I'll go away like my mom did because as much as I'm like my dad, I'm like my mom.

I guess I'd want kids one day, but I don't know.

As long as Peeta didn't leave me then I'd be okay.

"How do you like it?" Peeta asks, jarring me out of my thoughts.

I look at the page. It's beautiful.

I'm looking at myself in my blue dress. The moon and the stars following me like they would follow Artemis, goddess of the moon and the hunt.

I learned about Artemis from an old book from before the Dark Days. I think it was called Greek Mythology.

"It's beautiful Peeta. I look like Artemis, goddess of the moon and the hunt." I exclaim to him as I look at the beauty of the sketch.

"Seems legit. You hunt very well and you also ruled the moon and the stars tonight. It seems quite legit." Peeta says looking over my shoulder at the drawing he just finished.

I laugh. "I never thought of it like that."

I can feel him smile against my neck. He rests his chin on my shoulder. He breathes in and exhales with a happy sigh.

"You smell so good." He mutters.

"Well, I better! I just had a shower." We both laugh.

"No you smell good all the time. Like pine. Like fresh air." I feel him smile and smell me again.

"You smell good too." I feel him open his eyes, his eyelashes that I love so much brush my neck. "You smell like fresh bread and cinnamon and a small dash of dill. Sometimes if you we're icing a cake in the bakery that day, you smell like icing too."

I wrap my arm around his head to place my hand on his blond head. He laughs.

"You're very funny." He says closing his eyes again.

"Yes, yes I am." I smile, putting the sketchbook on the bedside tale to loom at my ring.

"I still can't believe that you're gonna be my wife." Peeta says.

"I can't believe that you're gonna be my husband." I say.

He sighs happily again. "You tired?" I ask. He simply nods his head. "Okay sleepyhead, lets stop admiring my ring and go to bed shall we?"

Peeta laughs tiredly. "I'm glad you like it."

He lays down and I place myself in his arms. I shut off the light and just as soon as that happens, Peeta joins the lights: out.


	16. Letters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yup, you guessed it, I still don't own anything

Today's our last day in District 4.

Peeta and I sit on the rocks overlooking the sea, watching the sunrise. I'm going to miss the humid salty air and the rhythmic sounds of green-grey waves crashing against the old beaten rocks.

We have a train to catch this morning. I miss home, but I've fallen in love with the beautiful paradise that is District 4.

"We go home today." Peeta announces as I place my head on his shoulder.

"Yeah. We do." I say wistfully.

"I'm gonna miss this warm weather." Peeta smooths down my hair.

I groan. "Me too. I was almost starting to like sleeping with the windows open."

Peeta chuckles and holds my left hand with his free hand. "Is all this real? Am I really holding you in my arms as my fiancé? Or is this some cruel joke that the world has set up?"

"This is real." Say looking up at his beautiful blue orbs.

He smiles teasingly. "That's exactly what an allusion would say."

I smile and kiss him gently. "Now do believe I'm real?"

He smiles. "Hmm, I don't know. I think you'll have to help me."

I kiss him again but this time a little harder. Enough to leave us winded. "Yeah, I'm pretty sure this is real." We both laugh.

Once the sun has fully risen we walk back to Annie's house hand in hand.

The smell of eggs and bacon is wafting ever so gently in the air around the house, but strong enough to make even a vegetarian's stomach grumble.

"Anne's giving us a goodbye feast I suppose." Peeta says pulling me by the hand into the house.

"Hey guys, you're just in time. Breakfast is served." Annie exclaims putting a bowl full of crispy bacon onto the table. Finn is sitting in his high chair munching on some scrambled eggs, fruit and bacon pieces. It's the perfect example of what a home should be.

"Don't mind if I do." Haymitch says reaching over to take the bowl of bacon.

Peeta and I sit next to each other across the table from Haymitch and Johanna. Annie and my mom sit at the head and end of the table. Beetee went home late last night. He said that the times in District 3 are way different and the only way for him to get back into the swing of things would be to go home then. Little Finn sits in his high chair, happily munching on pieces of eggs and bacon.

There's less laughter at the table this morning. Less swearing on Johanna's part and less stupid sober-drunk comments coming from Haymitch. Finn must notice something's different because he's quieter too.

Over the past week, Annie and I have grown closer. I'm really going too miss four but going home will be nice. Home is home, right?

My dad used today that the home is where the heart is and I don't really know what he meant by that.

After breakfast Peeta and I packed our bags together. I gave the liquor to Haymitch and he gladly accepted. Beetee's game bag is folded nicely around the beautiful bow and quiver Johanna made me. I folded the picture of me and Prim in a pair of pants and place my new green rubber boots from Annie on top like a cherry on top of an ice cream sundae like in the Capitol.

I zip my suitcase closed and carry it downstairs and place it by the door.

Peeta's outside packing all the luggage into Annie's car. Annie doesn't live far from the train station (a curse and a blessing), but there's a lot more stuff than last time plus a lot more people that being the reason behind the need of a car.

My mom grabbed me by the arm before I joined the others in the car.

"I won't be able to see you off at the train. I've got to be at the hospital." My mom smiles wistfully. "But I just wanted to say happy birthday and congratulations." She hugs me and kisses me on the cheek.

"Thanks mom. Bye." I call after her as she walks away. She waves over her shoulder.

The drive to the station was silent and heavy. Everyone as grieving the moment they have to step onto different trains, going to different Districts, back to their old lives of nightmares and cold weather.

I don't blame them, but I'm sure they, like me, are also kind of happy to be going home.

"We'll have to do this again." Annie says breaking the heavy silence.

We all agree. "Except next time Katniss and Peeta will be with child." Johanna says. Haymitch snorts.

I scowl at Johanna and a gorgeous blush blooms across Peeta's face.

I never really noticed how much I like Peeta's blush. He does it all the time. I guess it's like when Peeta came down Annie's stairs, clad in only pyjama pants that morning Johanna showed up. Making my breath hitch without even trying.

I'm shaken out of my thoughts by the car jolting to a stop.

Finn was silent the whole ride to the train station.

Peeta jumps out of the car and grabs mine nod his luggage. Johanna grabs hers and Haymitch his. After they all say their goodbyes they go to the two waiting trains and dump the bags in the storage compartments then hop onto the train.

"Katniss, it was nice getting to know you better. Finnick talked a lot about you." She sighs wistfully. "He was worried about you like an older brother might be worried abut a younger sister. I feel the same way."

"I liked getting to now you too. Finnick really loved you. You were probably watching, but when he and I got trapped in with the Jabber Jays, he almost-no he did have a mental breakdown when he heard you scream. It was like the sound of a man being shattered." I explained.

Anime just nods, tears brimming her eyes. She opens her arms in the universal 'I really need a hug right now' way. I open my arms and hug her.

"I miss him Katniss. I really do. It's so hard to raise a kid without the father to help." She says through my chest.

"I know Annie. I really do. I raised my sister all by myself and she turned out better than me. I now Finn will do good because he has you for a mother and Finn for a biological father." She nods and pulls back.

"Thank you Katniss." She smiles. "Get to your train now before it leaves."

"Okay. Bye Annie, bye Finn." Finn waves his small hand as I run up to the train and join Peeta and Haymitch.

* * *

I fell asleep on Peeta again. I was shaken awake by Peeta again.

"You kids go on ahead of me. I gotta pick something up." Haymitch calls to us.

"Probably liquor." I mumble as Peeta agrees.

Peeta and I walk home in blissful silence, our hands interlocked between us.

Once home we start to unpack. Just as I start walking downstairs to out my suitcase in the basement, Peeta runs up the stairs.

"Here. Let me take this. You just go upstairs and have a nap or something." Peeta says hurriedly taking my suitcase from me.

"Um...okay." I say suspiciously. Peeta just smiles. I sigh and walk up the stairs wondering why I'm being sent to my room like a child.

* * *

After about 20 minutes, Peeta comes upstairs and tells me I can come down now.

"Close your eyes." Peeta whispers in my ear.

I do as he says and he leads me down the stairs. When we reach the living room, Peeta makes me sit on the couch.

"Okay, open your eyes." Peeta says happily.

When I open my eyes, I'm attacked by a brown ball of fur. I pull the attacker to see a puppy. A beautiful brown puppy with a bright pink nose. The puppy sits on my chest and starts to lick my face.

"Okay puppy, off." I say, moving my face from the pink tongue. The puppy stops.

Haymitch laughs. "Happy birthday sweetheart."

I look up at him. "He's mine?"

"Yeah, his name is Hunter. He's a lab, I think that's what Sae said. Se also said that if you need help training him that she'll help." Haymitch explains. "I also took the liberty of buying you a bag of dog food and a dish." He kicks a giant black bag on the floor. "This'll last maybe a month."

Peeta looks at the dog, a shocked expression on his face. "Jeeze dog, you sure eat a lot."

We all laugh.

* * *

Hunter is a great addition to our small family. He's a handful, but a good handful.

Peeta feeds him, I train him and take him hunting and for walks.

Hunter has decided that he will sleep on our bed.

Right in the middle.

Peeta and I haven't cuddled in almost two weeks. That's, like, three years in our little world.

This morning when Peeta and I wee eating breakfast, Peeta says:

"Katniss, you need to buy Hunter a bed. I need to cuddle my fiancé when I sleep." He slumped onto the table melodramatically.

I pat his head. "I will, honey. I will."

Needless to say, later that day I bought a dog bed from Sae later that day.

* * *

A few months later, I received a letter from Johanna.

_Hey brainless,_

_I just wanted to say that I'm seeing someone. Now before you get all 'why do I care Johanna?' on me, hear me out._

_I'm dating your ex-best friend._

_Now before you freak out and shred the letter than burn it, listen. I really like him okay and I want you two to figure things out because it still rips him apart. He blames himself for the death of Prim and he hates that you hate him._

_Write me back please? We need to figure this out._

_-Johanna_

I wrote back right after I finished reading.

_Hey Johanna,_

_I'm glad you're happy._

_I don't hate Gale. He just drops in on the most unwelcome and the worst times. I really don't hate Gale, there's just too much crap that can't be fixed between us. We'll never be what we once were. But I think that's the case for everyone._

_Another reason that I don't bother with Gale is because he is a cause of Peeta's episodes. They're really hard on the both of us and we try to avoid them at all costs._

_Gale isn't the reason for Prim's death. I've said this before and I'll say it again: if someone dies from a gun shot, do you blame the shooter or the creator. They're boh at fault, but you always lame the shooter because they had the choice between pulling the trigger or not._

_Gale may have created the bomb, but he never set it off, Coin did. Or maybe it was one of her minions that are so willing to carry out her orders no matter how sadistic they may be._

_I want to fix things with Gale, but it's hard because I'm sill fixing myself._

_-Katniss_

After I sent the letter, I received another one a week later.

_Dear brainless,_

_When did you get so deep?_

_Now that that is all cleared up, are you willing to set up a day to see Gale and just talk?_

_He's willing and ready. Are you? Is Peeta?_

_-Johanna_

After this letter, I told Peeta. He sent the letter that time.

_Dear Johanna,_

_We're ready._

_One week._

_-Peeta_


	17. News

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow! I really don't own anything!

Gale is coming today.

Gale and Johanna are going to be sitting in our living room today.

To say I'm nervous would be an understatement.

Peeta seems to be fine. Clam and collected as usual. He's even made lunch.

To calm my nerves, I decide t take Hunter out.

Hunter's gotten to be quite the help in the woods. He's silent and can hear and smell the game much better than I ever could. Even though he's just a puppy now, he'll grow into a larger dog and be able to protect me. I think that's Peeta's favourite part about having a dog.

"Hunter, my old hunting partner's coming over today. I'm really nervous and scared. What if Peeta has an episode? What if Gale starts freaking out? What if I can't fix things?" I start to hyperventilate.

Hunter comes to sit in my lap. His floppy brown ears flat on his head in submission. I hug him. "Thank you, Hunter. Thank you." He places his chin n my back over m shoulder as I hug him. Hunter is far too good a dog.

By the end of our hunt, we caught two rabbits and a few birds. I had them in my new game bag from Beetee. The bow Johanna gave me is amazing. It's silent, makes absolutely no noise when I release the arrow.

When we get home, Johanna and Gale are just walking up to the porch.

I take a deep, calming breath, then call out: "Hey guys!" Hunter runs up to meet them. He starts by jumping on them in greeting, then he starts to sniff them, learning a whole world of things from just smell.

They both turn around. "Hey brainless. Who's this?" Johanna gestures a Hunter.

"That's Hunter. My new and improved hunting partner." I say teasingly.

Gale smirks. "I was the best and you now it."

Even though there's laughter in the air, I can still feel the underlying awkwardness and tension.

"In your dreams Hawthorne." I pause. "Let's go inside, shall we?" I gesture toward the door.

"Peeta, I'm back." I call into the house. Hunter jumps on Peeta in greeting.

"Hey Katniss, Hunter." He calls back from the kitchen.

"I found some random people outside our door. They say they know you, but they don't look familiar." I joke.

"Katniss, everyone thinks they know us." He jokes back, already catching on as he walks from the kitchen. "Hey guys." Peeta greets Johanna and Gale.

I begin to unlace my boots and watch Peeta out of the corner of my eyes. I can see the tension in his jaw. He's trying to fight off an episode.

"Excuse me for a minute." Peeta says tensely. He's probably off to get some medication. He hasn't had to take any for over three months now. That's a good thing. It means that he's learning to control, but if he has to now, it means that the episode is fighting back with just as much strength as he is.

Now, I'm more worried than before.

"Well, come sit down. Could I get you something to drink?" I offer to break the awkward silence.

"Could I have some water, please?" Johanna asks.

"Sure, Gale?" I ask as Hunter sits on the couch and starts to groom himself.

"No thanks, Catnip." He smirks at the old nickname.

I walk into the kitchen to get Johanna some water. Peeta comes into he kitchen from the bathroom just as I pull the cup from the cupboard.

"You okay?" I ask.

He nods. "Yeah. I just had some meds, so I'll be out of it for a while, but I'll be fine." He kisses my forehead.

I fill the glass with water and then walk back into the living room with Peeta. I hand Johanna her water then head back to the kitchen to deposit my game bag and wash up a little. When I get back Peeta is telling them a story about Hunter falling into the toilet during his first bath.

Needless to say, we won't be bathing him in the house anymore. We'll use the hose.

"Okay guys, we need to talk. We need to solve our problems together." Johanna says.

"Agreed." Adds Peeta.

"How are we going to do this Dr. Manson?" Gale teases.

She scowls at him.

"How about we all just agree to put the past behind us and only bring up the good parts? We all just agree to get along and tolerate each other?" I suggest.

Everyone looks at me, surprised I talked at all. "I'm not mute, I'm not stupid, I do have ideas."

"I agree. That sounds like a good plan." Peeta says lacing his fingers with mine.

"I have to agree with baker boy. Past is the past." Gale says.

"We all agree that this is a good plan." Johanna summarizes.

"Great, now we can all run off into the sunset and live happily ever after." Gale says, a giant, uncharacteristic smile on his face.

* * *

By the end of the night we were like old friends and I guess we are.

When Gale and Johanna have to leave (they only came for the afternoon. They have work tomorrow) we say our goodbyes and decide that at our earliest convenience we will have to get together and do this again.

"I never thought they'd get together." Peeta mumbles sleepily. The meds are starting t wear off and when they wear off, they leave him extremely tired.

"C'mon honey, let's go to bed." I say as I usher him up the stairs.

"Okay." He says through a yawn.

Once he's settled into bed, he falls asleep. He's going to have a giant headache tomorrow. Crap.

* * *

The day after Gale and Johanna came over, Peeta was irritable and achey and grumpy.

The medication does that to him.

Just before Peeta and I went to bed that night, Peeta hugged me, burying his face in the crook of my neck. I hugged him back.

"I'm sorry, Katniss. I've been grumpy and terrible today." He pulls me closer.

"It's okay." I smile. "I'm like this all the time and you deal with it in stride. Never one complaint."

He sighs. "I love you, Katniss. You're perfect." I rub his back soothingly.

"I love you too, Peeta." I blush at the complement.

We walk upstairs and go to sleep.

* * *

After two months of Gale and Johanna visiting twice a month, Peeta no longer has to take medication around Gale.

* * *

The phone rings.

"Hello?" I answer.

"Hello, Katniss!" Plutarch exclaims over the line.

"Hey, Plutarch. What's up?" I ask.

"Next month is November."

"I'm aware. Anything useful you want to tell me?"

Peeta mouths: 'Who is it?'

I mouth: 'Plutarch.'

His eyes widen and he disappears onto the kitchen.

"Next month is Remembrance Month. You and Peeta have an interview on the 11th." Plutarch explains like its the most obvious thing in the world. I guess to him it is.

"Oh. Okay. When do you want us down there?" I ask.

"Preferably by next week."


	18. Remembrance Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not owning anything!

Usually, I'd only hate going to the Capitol for five reasons (the people, the way they dress, the way they talk, the politics, the fact that it's the Capitol), but this time, I had one more reason: I had to find a place for Hunter.

I talked to Sae and she said she'd check if she had room, turns out one of her pregnant dogs just had her pups and now there's no space. I asked Thom, but he said that his wife was extremely allergic. Haymitch is coming and I don't know anyone else who'd take him.

So I had to call Plutarch. Again.

"You want to bring a dog to the Capitol? How big is it?" He asked.

"Umm. Pretty big. I'd say maybe 95 pounds?" I answered.

Plutarch was quiet for a while. "Can't you get someone to watch him while you're gone?"

I sighed. "I wouldn't be on the phone with you right now if I found someone to look after him. He's a puppy, Plutarch. He's not completely trained yet. He needs someone all the time."

Plutarch sighed, I could imagine him rubbing his forehead. "Okay. I'll see what I can do."

He then hung up.

Hunter was sitting at my feet. "You are sure causing me a lot of trouble." I said as I patted his head.

We got our tickets in the mail today, and we're going to be going on a special train that allows us to take pets. So I got Peeta to pack up Hunter's giant kennel and a few of his toys and his favourite blanket. I packed him his dish and a weeks worth of food. Also I bought him a leash and collar because in the Capitol dogs have to be on a leash at all times. Weird.

Hunter is extremely excited. Every time we say 'train' he goes ballistic. He jumps around and his weapon of a tail hits everything in sight.

'BONK, BONK, BONK'. Oh, that's Hunter.

He's a walking tornado and he chews on everything (literally. We gave him an old plastic whiskey bottle and he chewed it to pieces).

But, Peeta and I love him.

* * *

Once the Hunter fiasco was all sorted out, I had time to pack for myself. Which given the circumstances wasn't all that hard. I used half of a suitcase. Thank goodness Peeta hadn't packed yet either, yay saving luggage. The less bags to worry about, the smaller chance you have of losing something.

"You know, I thought girls needed, like, six suitcases for just their shoes." He joked leaning against the doorframe.

"Ha ha, very funny." I got up and hugged him, my arms around his neck, his hands on my waist and his nose by my nose. "I would've thought that you'd know that I'm not a normal girl by now."

He smiles, his breath mingling with mine. "Oh, trust me, I know that." He places a small chaste kiss on my lips. "You're too incredible to be normal."

I laugh, a blush creeping up my face. "I may be abnormal, but I'm not incredible." It's me who places the kiss this time. "It's you."

He smiles and pushed a lock of my hair out of my face and behind my ear. "We could go back and forth all day, but we have a train to catch later today." He places one more kiss and then untangles us. "But I disagree." He calls over his shoulder as he walks away.

* * *

Once on the train and Hunter is all settled, we start to discuss what we're going to talk about on the Remembrance Day interview.

"Okay, so we do have the speech and Cesar got us the questions." Haymitch summed up.

"Awesome, but we don't want it to seem too scripted. We still want to be seen as real to the people." Peeta says.

"I agree with you Peeta, but sometimes, it's good to have a little falseness in a world that's a little too real and if we have to be fake to make everyone okay, then so be it." I explain.

"Jeeze, Sweetheart. When did you become so..." Haymitch trails off.

"So what?" I ask, a little defensive.

"So leader like?" He asks.

I look over at Peeta and see the same question written over his face. "I don't know." I say quietly.

"Maybe we should get you to say most of the lines." Haymitch snickers.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Whoa. Just because I'm ten times the wiser, doesn't mean that I can all of a sudden talk to a huge crowd of people." Haymitch and Peeta burst out laughing.

"And she's back to normal." Peeta exclaims.

* * *

While I was on the train, I didn't fall asleep like I usually do, but Peeta and Haymitch did. And while I watched Peeta sleep, I realized something really important.

I didn't just have walls built around my heart, no, those are too easy to break down. I had my heart in Midevil armour and then I had it locked in a room of steel, titanium, and platinum. Then I had a diamond box around the room. The impenetrable fortress that guarded my heart was aided by fearless and ruthless warriors and archers just as good a shot as me, if not better. Yet Peeta broke through.

He tricked my archers to believe that he was just a friend and nothing more, then he made all my warriors swoon. He diligently chipped away the diamond then peeled away the platinum, then the titanium, then the steel only to meet a lonely heart in old armour. He warmed my heart and stole it.

He walked right over the swooned warriors and walked passed the archers with a smile firmly planted on is face, my small heart in his hands.

And the crazy thing is, he didn't leave me empty, but he left me with his heart which warmed me and filled me more than my heart could ever do.

And for that, I must forever repay him with what love I can give him. I know I'm not good enough for him, I'm not stupid. But because I'm not stupid I also know that my complaints are falling upon deaf ears. He will always love me. He's made that much clear.

With that thought clear in my mind, I lean my head on Peeta's shoulder and finally, blessedly, fall asleep.

* * *

When we arrived in the Capitol, there were thousands of people. All wanting to see the famous Star-Crossed Lovers. Paparazzi's cameras were flashing away hoping to get a decent picture of us together.

"Would you be willing to stand at the entrance and smile and wave before we leave?" Peeta asks, ever the people pleaser.

I take a deep breath. "Alright." His smile is blinding. "But I don't know why anyone would want a picture of me and Hunter. I mean yeah, he's a beautiful dog, but there's no economic value in that." I tease.

He laughs. "That's right. We have to go get your precious baby, Hunter." He kisses me on the cheek.

We walk down to get Hunter as Haymitch goes to get our bags. Once we have him, we walk out into the open.

The already loud train station gets ten times louder if that's even possible. I smile and wave to the cameras as I clutch Peeta's hand like a lifeline. Peeta's holding Hunter as he goes ballistic with all the people and the noise and the flashing lights. We make our way through the crowd.

Once we get into a car Plutarch has provided, I finally release a breath I didn't realize I was holding.

"That was exciting wasn't it, Hunter?" Peeta coos at Hunter. Hunter just wags his tail and bobs his small head excitedly.

"Say 'Yes it was, daddy.'" I coo. Hunter looks at me and starts to lick my face while I laugh. "Okay, Hunter, off." Hunter sits in the middle seat I between us, then he puts his front paws on the floor and lays down.

"Did you just call me 'daddy?'" Peeta asks finally.

My eyes widen when I realize that I did in fact, call Peeta 'daddy.'

"Yes?" I say it more like a question then a statement. He looks out the window a smile planed on his face. "You're going to tease me forever now, aren't you?"

He says nothing, just keeps smiling.

"You can bet on me teasing you, Sweetheart." Haymitch calls from the drivers seat. I sigh. "Now where are we going again?"

* * *

That night, once we got settled into the hotel, and we were in bed, Peeta brought up the whole 'daddy' incident.

"Did you really mean that today in the car?" He asks, facing me, his head resting on his folded arm.

"What about?" I ask, playing dumb.

"Katniss, don't be dumb. You know what I'm talking about." He pauses. "About me being Hunter's surrogate father."

I sigh. "Yeah. I did. I mean, right now, Hunter is about as close to a kid as you're gonna get. So, might as well embrace it right?"

He smiles. "You know, that makes you the mother."

I groan. "Ugh, don't remind me. I feel old." He chuckled.

* * *

The rest of the week, Peeta and I cuddled in the hotel room. Sometimes Hunter would join us, but most of the time he was exploring the room.

We also took Hunter for walks now and then, but if we were out for too long people would start to crowd, so we mostly stayed in. While on one of our walks we found a really good cupcake place. Peeta wanted to learn to make cupcakes like that and because he's a celebrity, they gave him a free cookbook. The chef also went through the step-by-step process to make their icing.

Peeta was very happy to say the least.

We went into this place that was all hunting gear. I almost died from excitement. Peeta was killing himself laughing. I was like a little kid in a candy shop.

The bows in that store were so tricked out I thought the bow alone must weigh about as much as Hunter, but (because of my celibacy) when I tried it out it was really lightweight and any mistakes I could have made (like I'd make any mistakes) were automatically corrected. I was in love.

I never bought anything because I didn't want to have to deal with taking it home (which would have been a pain in the ass).

Today is the day of the interview and I'm nervous to say the least.

Earlier this morning some people that I'm guessing are his new prep team, took him to make him over. Mine showed up at the same time and have been working hard ever since. The interview's at 6:00pm.

My thoughts drift off to Peeta like I find them doing a lot more lately now that we're engaged.

I think about how the sunlight hits his eyelashes and his hair in the morning through the window in the kitchen so that it looks like he's glowing. When he draws, which he does quite often now, he gets this intense look on his face. While baking, his muscles flex and pull in the most endearing way. He has a terrible habit of pulling on the end of his shit when he's nervous. When he smiles his eyes twinkle and the corners of his eyes crinkle adorably. Peeta is obsessed with neatness. When I don't put my toothbrush back in the holder thingy, he puts it there. If I leave my clothes on the floor when I change into my pyjamas, he puts them in the laundry hamper for me.

It's adorable really, him being all domestic and stuff.

I smile fondly.

"What are you smiling about, Katniss?" Octavia asks.

Flavius smiles. "She's in love silly. That's a face you get when you think of the one you love." He looks at me. "Who is it?"

I open my mouth to tell them, but am interrupted by Vienna. "Peeta of course. Right, Katniss?"

"Yeah." I sigh. "He finally proposed. For real this time." I add as an afterthought.

"Wait. I thought that you guys were legitimately married." Octavia says confused.

"Oh...well, um, yeah, that was a ploy to get sponsors. You know, get the pity of the people and stuff. I also wasn't pregnant."

Octavia seems to be the only one surprised by this news. "Honestly Octavia, don't look so scandalized. Cinna told us all about this, remember?" Vienna says.

Realization dawns on Octavia. "Right." Flavius and Vienna just look at he with sympathy, like she was dropped on her head too many times as a baby.

"We're very happy for you two." Vienna says, placing a hand on my shoulder.

"When's the wedding?" Flavius asks.

I just shrug and the subject of my wedding drops when Octavia starts going on about a wedding she went to not too long ago.

* * *

Finally when I'm with Peeta again, he's in a black and white suit with a black bow tie instead of a tie. His blond hair is styled in a a style I saw Ina history book somewhere. I think it was from the 1940's. (A/N: Captain America hairstyle. Btw.)

I was in a black cocktail dress with diamond earrings and a diamond necklace and bracelet. My shoes were white heels and my hair was also in this strange 1940's look. (A/N: like Peggy's hair.) I had red lipstick on and very little eye makeup. Just a little bit of mascara and eyeliner.

I see Peeta's breath catch when he sees me and I take that as a good thing.

Peeta grabs my hands and swings them between us. "You look beautiful." He breathes out a laugh. "I really want to kiss you, but I think I'd get in trouble from your prep team for smudging your lipstick."

I smile. "I really want to, too, but I agree. I think they'd eat us." I say the last part in a whisper. He smiles.

Haymitch approaches us. "Okay love birds. Enough worth the googley eyes. We're on in ten."

We immediately separate, blushing like mad. "I still want to kiss you." Peeta whispers to me as we go on.

I go on stage a little behind Peeta, a shocked expression on my face. Quickly as I can, I school my features into a smile. I wave to the crd just like Peeta and I practiced. We go through the speech just like we practiced and when the questions come, we're ready.

"So I'm sure everyone in Panem is wondering. Who was that cute little puppy that got off the train with you two?" Cesar asks, the charming lit to his voice as always.

I laugh. "That's Hunter, my baby. He's my hunting dog I got for my birthday a couple months ago." I smile just thinking about Hunter.

"Peeta, tell us. Does this Hunter get more love than you?" Cesar asks. The crowd laughs.

"Honestly, sometimes, yes. For the longest time he would sleep right between Katniss and I. I have to say, it was terrible. Needless to say, he sleeps on the floor on a nice dog bed we got for him." Peeta explains. The crowd laughs again.

"The last time we talked, it was your birthday, Katniss and you were explaining the re-building in District 12. How's it going now?"

"It's going great. I'm pretty sure everything's done mow and people are still flooding into 12." Peeta explains. I nod along.

"How about the bakery? We saw your Grand Opening not too long ago." Cesar asks.

"It's even going great! Katniss helps out all the time as a cashier, which, by the way, is adorable." Peeta says, a smirk on his face.

The crowd laughs and I can see Haymitch snickering off stage.

"Katniss, tell us, what is that ring on your finger? As Plutarch mentioned so long ago that you two were in fact not married or engaged, but going steady. Is it a promise ring?" Cesar asks in his charismatic manner.

Damn it.

I sneak a glance at Peeta and he nods his head, just a fraction of an inch, but I get it. Tell them.

I grab the finger the rings on and start to twist it. "It's, um, a, uh an—I should say— engagement ring. Peeta, um, finally popped the question." I laugh nervously at the end.

The crowd goes wild. Cheering and applauding. Cesar tries to calm the unruly crowd so he could ask more questions. About the wedding probably. The crowd just isn't having it though and Cesar has to cut it to commercial break to calm the crowd but nothing is working.

I know that if we don't get through the questions we'll never leave and right this moment, it seems we won't be going anywhere anytime soon. I just want to go back to the hotel and have a shower and cuddle up with my fiancé and my dog. I also want a nap.

So, I stick my fingers in my mouth and whistle as loud as I can. Like when I want Hunter to come back when we've been hunting for a while and he's gone off on his own. The sound is only intensified by the microphone. I'm sure that its deafening.

Silence.

I take my fingers out of my mouth and wipe the lipstick off on the side of the couch.

"Thank you. We will continue the show now." Cesar says.

A man behind stage starts counting down. When he gets to zero, Cesar has a giant smile on his face.

"Sorry folks. We had a little bit of technical difficulties." He pauses and looks at me and Peeta. "So, when's the wedding? Have you started planning yet?"

"We don't have a date set yet and for the most part, we haven't started planning." Peeta explains.

"Do you know when you'd want the wedding?"

"Peeta looks at me. "Uh..."

"Spring." I say helpfully.

Peeta nods. "Yeah, spring. You know all about new beginnings and the weather in 12 is very nice." Peeta supplies with a charming smile that has even me wanting to swoon.

"But like Peeta said, we don't ave anything planned. At all." I say just as Cesar goes to ask another question.

"Well, good luck on your planning, congratulations and have a good Remembrance Day." Cesar smiles. "Good night folks."

With that, the show was wrapped up and Peeta and I were stuck wavinG and smiling until everyone was gone.

Finally, blessedly, Plutarch came on stage and gushed over how well we did. Then we could leave.

Peeta was smiling the whole way back to the hotel. He held my hand and beamed at me every so often. He looked so proud, but I couldn't even begin to guess why.

When we got to the hotel I finally asked: "Why are you so proud?"

"We've made a development in the wedding and you openly talked about our relationship. You were just plain open today. And awesome. I couldn't ask for a better fiancé." He pulls me into a hug. He kisses the top of my head. "I'm so proud." He whispers.

"Let's watch a movie. You know, one of the Capitol monstrosities. The ones where they try to make it seem like real life, but they fail incredibly." I smile leading him towards the couch. "We leave tomorrow and I just want to relax."

He smiles back. "Alright." He sighs dramatically lie its the end of the world that we have t watch a movie.

At some point, Hunter joins us and I'm happy with that. I'm happy with the small little family that we have. I think that in a decade or so, I might be ready to have a baby.


	19. Married

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still, I don't own anything.

Planning a wedding is hard. And stressful. And boring. And expensive.

Let's just sum up that planning a wedding sucks a lot.

Peeta and I decided to have the wedding in Spring. We picked April 16th. That years Easter.

Planning the wedding had me thinking about my dad a lot.

When I was five, he and I would go out to the meadow together and he'd tell me stories or he'd read to me from the plant book or he'd sing to me. One day I asked him how he new he loved my mother. He smiled and he said:

"When I saw her everything was bright. Even all the dark grey coal dust that covered everything seemed to vanish when I was in her presence." He paused a longing look on his face. "One day a, really long time ago, she had to go away because I was too poor to make her life happy, and all of a sudden everything was dark. I could go on living just fine, but I didn't want to because I couldn't see as well as I could around your mother."

My eyes widened. "What happened?"

"I told her that and she came back and married me. Then we had you." He poked me on the belly button.

That all came back to me, and it's all true for me and Peeta. He's my light in a world of perpetual darkness.

I'm sad that my dad won't be able to walk me down the isle, but Haymitch will. He's the only one that has really been like a father to me for a long while. Event high the man is totally crazy and insane, I love him.

My mom, Annie, Finn, Johanna, Gale, Beetee, Effie and my whole prep team are all coming down to 12 for the wedding. A bunch of people from our joined childhoods are coming to the wedding as well.

Johanna and Annie are my bridesmaids. One of Peeta's childhood friends and Hunter are Peeta's groomsmen.

Turns out that Cinna had made me a wedding dress that I'd actually like before he died. The prep team had been holding out on me. When I was it for the first time I nearly fainted, it was so beautiful.

It had long white lace sleeves that were adorned with leaves and vines. You could see through the lace and see my skin. The lace covered my arms from wrist to neck and my whole back. The neckline of the dress is a sweetheart neckline. At the waist 6 layers of horizontal strips of solid lace were wrapped around. A satin-y fabric cascaded from the layers in a small 'A' shape. Lace vines climb up from the bottom of the dress. A small train follows behind me. The vail sat in the bun of my hair with a diamond tiara. The vail flowed over my my back and shoulders only to join the small train at the back of my dress.

I'm pretty sure Haymitch cried a little when I tried it on.

The best part of the dress, it covered all my scars and made me feel beautiful.

Today is the big day and I'm so excited and nervous. I really hope I don't mess up my vows.

Just as my prep team finishes the last finishing touches of my dress and makeup, Haymitch comes in.

"We're ready, Sweetheart." He smiles.

"Okay." I whisper and turn to my mom and smile.

"Good luck, baby." She air kisses my cheek then leaves.

The prep team departs to take their seats and Haymitch comes fully into the room.

"You look beautiful, Sweetheart." He smiles. "But you're missing something."

My face twists into confusion. "Your pin." He explains as he pins it to my right shoulder. I smile a nervous smile. "You'll do just fine." Haymitch offers his arm and I lace my hand through. With my other hand I grab my bouquet of Primroses.

"I'm ready." I say at Haymitch's questioning look.

"Let's go, then shall we?" I just nod my head in a jerky nervous parody of a nod.

He smiles encouragingly and we walk down the hall to the church doors. We wait for 39 seconds (in counting) then walk down the isle. Everyone stands and looks at me, but the only pair of eyes I care about are Peeta's.

I catch his crystal clear blue eyes and hold on. He smiles so brightly, the sun looks dull. I smile back.

When we're face to face and Haymitch hands me over, I can't wait to get to the end so I can be married to him already.

When we get to the I do's we say them so very assured, no one in the world would ever suggest we wouldn't want to spend forever together.

"You may now kiss the bride."

Peeta pulls me into a chaste kiss, but I'm having none of that. I grab the back of his neck and pull him in for a deep passionate kiss. When we pull back we're both breathless. I take pride in that.

The reception is so much fun. Everyone dances and has a great time. Someone had a violin and began to play the Valley Song, I couldn't stop myself from singing along. I'm pretty sure Peeta almost swooned.

That night we did the bread ceremony. For real this time.

Then we made love. It was slow and sweet and everything I could have ever wanted.

The coal dust, the dark clouds, the sadness has finally gone. Banished by the bright shining star that is Peeta Mellark.

I'm content with my life and it doesn't surprise me all that much.

I promise that for all those that can't live their lives, I will live for them. I will strive for double, triple, times a million my happiness for them.

I promise.

Starting tomorrow.

Because for right now, I'm happy to just enjoy the moment I have with my husband.

The End.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And they all lived happily ever after. You all know the rest. 
> 
> It's over and I'd like to thank all of you who have stuck with me all these months. Through my crappy updating and my random typos. I'd just like to thank you all. 
> 
> As one door closes, another opens. As this story ends, my other new story Anniversary Gift, begins. 
> 
> I love you all. Fair well. 
> 
> Comments?
> 
> ~Lexi


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